Rat Race Anime Style!
by The Time Traveler
Summary: Ever seen the movie Rat Race. This fic is a parady to it using several Anime characters, one or two movie characters, and the Simpsons!
1. Cast List

Rat Race...Anime Style  
  
AN: At the suggestion from Charles Xaiver (Who is doing a good job at that Anime World fic) I decided to show a cast list for the characters in this fanfic. Plus I do not own the roles they play nor them so don't sue. By the way, I gradjuated, Montgomery College I am coming, and my Eagle was awarded to me (bangs symbols and drum like Excel did from episode 13)  
  
Donald Synclair( the rich billionare).......Maximillion Pegusus (Yu- Gi-Oh!)  
  
Vera and Michelle Baker (the mother and daughter).......... Belldandy and Skuld (Oh My Goddess!)  
  
That boneheaded coach that was left in the desert ........... Vash the Stampede (Trigun)  
  
Dwane and Blaine (the two brothers, one with a pierced tounge) ........Piro and Largo (from MegaTokyo)  
  
Nick Schauffer (guy who gambled once)........... Ranma Saotome (Ranma ½)  
  
Enrico Polini (the naurctic person)............. Excel Excel (Excel Saga)  
  
Tracey (the helicopter pilot) ................. Naru Narusawaga (Love Hina) (Originally it was Yue Hongo from Fushigi Yuugi but Naru has that girls attitude better.  
  
Zack (the heart guy) ................... Dexter and Ed (Good Burger)  
  
Tracey's boyfreind and his ex-girlfriend................ (Seto and Kitsune)  
  
Randy and his family ................... The Simpsons ( do I have to tell the show!?)  
  
Guy who steals the keys from the two boys............. Zorak (The Brak Show)  
  
The hooker who took the money................. Caldina (Magic Knight Rayearth)  
  
Phew, well I think that should do it for now, after all this fic is still in the works, well enjoy it! -The time Traveler. 


	2. The Chosen Winners!

Rat Race.. Anime Style!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The Lucky Winners  
  
Time Traveler here all you fanfiction writers and readers out there. I was inspired by the craziness and understanding plot to create this fanfic. Note: not all the characters are anime characters but you will know who is who. Disclamer: I don't own Rat Race or any of the characters contained in this fic. Well enough with the legal mumbo- jumbo lets get to the point.  
  
It was a day of working, vacationing and gambling at Illusion Incorporated promotional Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.  
  
At this point someone was checking out at the receptionist. "Hi", said the boy, "I'm checking out room 104." "Ranma Saotome", asked the receptionist. Ranma nodded. As the receptionist typed through the computer she asked, "How was your luck last night?" "Oh I didn't gamble, I was challenged to a fight here by someone." "That explains why Ryoga was bent out of shape last night." "I was also invited to observe a duel monsters game by a friend."  
  
Ranma was then handed the bill. "What's with this extra $10,000 dollars?" "For your in room movies sir", replied the receptionist. "What in room movies? I was barley in my room!" The receptionist pulled up something on the computer. "Princess Mononke." "What", asked Ranma. "You watched that movie 11 times." "No that is impossible!" yelled Ranma. "Princess Monoke, 9:00, Princess Mononke, 6:30, in the morning you watched Kiki's Delivery Service for ten minutes then switched back to Princess Monoke." "Look", said Ranma, "I don't know how that got on there but I did not watch them. If Ryoga was okay he'd tell you that and so would Yugi, I was at his duel!" "Are you sure. A intriguing movie directed by Hayao Miyazaki in this." "No! I don't even no what it is about!" "Alright", said the receptionist, "How many times did you watch it?" "ZERO!!" *********************************************  
  
Vash the Stampede was busy drinking in a nearby bar. He then realized his glass was empty. "Hey bar-keep, another round please", he said. "Sure", said the bartender, whose name was Moe. "You know, yuse kinda familia", he said. "Yea", said Barney, "haven't we met someplace before *belch*." "No way", said Vash with a smile on his face, "I guess I am just one of those characters with 'one of those faces'! Ha! Ha! Ha!"  
  
Soon on the news a scene familiar to Vash came on. "The top story of the day", said the anchor man, "A huge city is once again in ruins thanks to the $60,000,000,000,000 man Vash the Stampede. Fortunately, no one was killed in the incident."  
  
Just as Moe and Barney turned to see their friend, Vash was gone. ********************************************************  
  
Piro & Largo where at the top of a flight of stairs in the hotel lobby. "Here we are", said Largo, "Set it there!" "I can't believe you talked me into this!" Piro said as he placed a small shot glass down. "All Right," he said, "Just walk along towards that glass and trip over it, like the idiot you are, and let gravity do the rest." "Won't I break my neck", asked Largo. "Yes I am sure you might break you neck but that is a risk I am willing to take" "Well", said Largo, "Why don't j00 do it?" "Because", said Piro, "Even though I am against this, if we want to pull this off, we need a witness that can be understood. I mean not everyone here speaks L33T!" "Well maybe." Largo was interrupted, for an old lady that was walking with his full grown son just tripped on it and fell down the stairs. "MOTHER", he yelled. "Seymour", yelled the lady, "Don't just stand there, help me!" The woman attendant said, "Those punks, they are going to pay for it right through the nose!" Piro and Largo thought it would be a good time move away so they hurried away." *********************************************************************** The door of room 546 opened, and in walked the Simpson family from Springfield, U.S.A. They all quickly put their luggage down. "See", said Homer, "We didn't need a bellhop!" "You will do anything just to avoid giving a tip, Homer", said Marge.  
  
Their children ran over to the beds and Lisa grabbed the one on the left. "Hey, that's my bed", said Bart. "No it's mine, you got to choose last time!" The two began to argue. "Kids", yelled Marge, "stop that." Then he turned to Homer, "Homer, why did we stop here, you know I have a gambling problem." "Don't worry Marge", said Homer, "It's just so we can see Penn & Teller here, nothing less. Anyway, I am going to take a stroll around here." "Homer", said a concerned Marge, who just dropped Maggie, who decided to wonder the room, You are not going to the casino, are you." "No Marge, I just want to, look around, and get these cramps out of my legs." "Okay, but remember, NO GAMBLING!" "I promise, in fact, I plan to go to the gift shop", with that he took out and secretly unrolled plenty of money."  
  
Just as he was heading out the door, Lisa and Bart were jumping at each other on the beds and got a headline collision. "That's gonna smart. Marge the kids need you." **************************************************************************** *  
  
Belldandy was busy waiting in the restaurant section of the casino. She was showing the picture of her sister, Skuld, to some nearby waitresses. "Oh", they said, "So she is your sister." "Yep", she said, "She kinda ran off because of a fight she had with our sister." "And you came here and just 'met' her", asked on of the waitresses. "No", said Belldandy, "Keichi and I hired a detective, spent most of our money and now, I am going to see her again.  
  
At that moment, Skuld just walked in. Belldandy, walked on up to her. "Nice to see you again, sister." Skuld nodded, "I am so sorry, that I ran out on you like that." "It's all right", said Belldandy. She brought her over to a seat. Turning to the waitresses she said, "Could leave us please." "Sure", they said. After they left, Bell said, "So, were you happy here in America." "Not entirely", Skuld responded. "So that's why Urd, asked me to find you. She told me that you would be stressed, wouldn't get enough sleep, etc." "Well who wouldn't." **************************************************************************** **  
  
Ranma was heading out to the main door when a familiar, spike haired boy with a triangle like object around his neck came up. "Ranma", he yelled. "Oh, hi Yugi." "Could please stay for a little bit." "No, Shampoo is chasing me." "No she is not", said Yugi, noticing a "I don't want to stay look on his face." "Listen, I know you barley token a risk ever since the spring incident but you got to try to break a few rules. You haven't even gambled for crying out loud!" "It's not my thing. Now, if you don't mind, I have to catch a plane." As he left Yugi yelled, "Just for once, do something risky!" **********************************************  
  
Belldandy & Skuld where busy kicking it off at the slot machines in the casino. "This is so much fun", said Belldandy as she pulled the lever again. Soon the slots lined up and it was a jackpot. "You won!" yelled Skuld.  
  
They reached under the slot to get the coins, and withdrew a gold coin with the hotel insignia on the back and on the other were the words, "YOU ARE A WINNER! SEE GUEST SERVICES." ***********************************************  
  
Vash was trying his luck at a slot machine. He once again pulled the lever and he got jackpot. "Yes, alright, I am the man", he shouted idiotically.  
  
He reached down and he pulled out a gold coin with the insignia of the hotel on it. ***********************************************  
  
Homer creeped around the slot machines, just trying to find one that felt lucky. He chose one, put a quarter in and pulled the lever and got jackpot. "Yes! Woohoo!" He reached down and pulled out a gold coin. "I'm a winner! Woohoo!"  
  
************************************************  
  
Piro and Largo were just putting their money in the slot machines and pulling the lever of each one. Just then Piro's conscience, Seraphim, appeared. "Piro, are you sure you are doing the right thing", she said. "Sure what have we got to lose." At that moment Largo yelled, "Yes we won! We are L33T!" He handed Piro a gold coin. "This isn't real money", said Piro. *************************************************  
  
"A free buffet, is that all", asked Skuld to the receptionist. "No it is a special reception at the penthouse conference room where", she paused to read the information form and she read, "'A once in a lifetime event awaits you.' Sorry but that's all I know." "This is exciting Skuld, what do you think", asked Belldandy. "All right we will do it", Skuld said. "Great, but first I need some identification", the receptionist said. "Okay", Belldandy said and handed the receptionist her and Skuld's cards." After looking at the cards she asked, "You are jocking right. You two are goddesses?" "Yes we are", they both said. ************************************************  
  
Ranma was nearly to the door when a slot machine caught his eye. He stopped, put a quarter in it and pulled the lever. "Okay, I've gambled", he said. Just as he said that he got a jackpot and a gold coin came down in the slot.  
  
He picked it up and looked at the coin puzzled.  
  
To be continued...  
  
Well did you like it or hate it. I really thought this would be interesting and funny. I will continue this A.S.A.P. Oh just to tell you. The movie, Princess Monoke, I don't own it nor have I had seen it so don't flame me or anything okay. Okay. See you later you Fanfiction.Netters. 


	3. The Race is On!

Rat Race.Anime Style!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The Race is on!  
  
I was in a feeling in the right mood so I though I'd type this up. Once again I don't own these characters or Rat Race. Shall we get on with it?  
  
In the penthouse of the hotel the following morning, almost everyone was up there helping himself or herself to the buffet. The doors opened and Belldandy and Skuld walked in. "This is a very good room", remarked Belldandy.  
  
They walked over to the table where the other winners where eating, especially Homer.  
  
"Oh", said Vash to Piro, "You two are in vacation, that's good. On times like those you must try to have good memories of the places you go to." "If like a companion like mine", remarked Piro.  
  
"Excuse me", asked Skuld to Largo, "What's going on here." "FR33 F00D is going on here." "Was that English", asked Homer. "No that was L33T", said Piro, "He said 'Free food is going on here'.  
  
Belldandy walked up to Vash's side and said, "I know you, you're the $60,000,000,000 man, the Humanoid Typhoon. "Oh", whined Vash, "It wasn't my fault!" Beldandy interrupted and said, "Yes, but the Goddess Helpline was very busy that day to help those people because of you."  
  
Just then the door opened and in popped a girl with orange hair and looked rather silly. "I won, hear me Ilpalazzo, I won this coin!"  
  
She looked around and said, "What a beautiful room, have you ever see one." Homer looked around and said, "No." "Yes", corrected Piro, "we're in it."  
  
"Thank you", said the girl, "I am Excel, now you're probably thinking, Excel is a name for a program by Microsoft right." "Yes, but also not all the time", responded Vash.  
  
Excel then looked at the table. "Wow, I don't need to eat Menchi after all. Look at this food. I might as well get some nourishment!" With that said she began chowing down.  
  
Skuld looked at her with disgust and grabbed Belldandy and said, "That's it. We're leaving this place."  
  
However, just as she got to the doors, they opened and in walked a man with long white hair, fancy red clothes and a golden eye replaced his right eye.  
  
Welcome all of you", said the man in a annoying voice (no offense to you Maximillion Pegasus lovers out there), "I am Maximillion Pegasus owner of Industrial Illusions and this promotional hotel." Looking stern he said, "We have only a limited amount of time, for a meteor the size of Canada is heading this direction. When it impacts everyone and everything will be destroyed. I built a bunker into this hotel to withstand the blast but it could hold only eight of us. I chose you seven to accompany me. When the crisis is over it will be up to us to repopulate and re-civilize the planet.  
  
Everyone went into shock and Homer went into his motive, "AHHH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! ! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Suddenly Pegasus smiled and laughed. "I am so sorry! I just couldn't resist!"  
  
Everyone sighed with relief. "It's okay fat man it was joke", said Excel. "Oh I knew that all along."  
  
Pegasus pointed out the chairs, "Please everyone take a seat. Skuld you and your sister can sit over there." "How do you know she is my sister", asked Skuld. There was a gleam from Pegasus' golden eye and he said, "There are no secrets around here is there."  
  
Just then Ranma came in through the door. He just leaned up against a column. "Ah, Mr. Saotome", said Pegasus, "Curiosity got the better of you again, but don't worry, you won't change into anything this time." "Wait", said Ranma, "How did you know." "Please have a seat", said Pegasus. "No I am okay!" said Ranma.  
  
Soon a man with dark glasses came in the room. "This is my assistant Croquet, he barley has a personality." Croquet handed out some forms to the people. "Now", said Pegasus, "I need you to fill out these forms proclaiming that Industrial Illusions nor this hotel will be responsible for accidents or damages etc."  
  
As everyone signed the forms, behind the big mirror some sinister figures were watching them. One of them said, "Who do you think?" Another said, "I think the young girl with markings on her face, she looks desperate yet intelligent." "Um, sir", said his assistant, "She has her sister with her sir." "Oh Poppycock!"  
  
Everyone finished filling out the forms. "Good", said Pegasus, "Now here is the big tomalley! 700 miles from here in the state of New Mexico is Silver City." "Gold rush Silver City right", asked Piro. "That's right Piro! People struck gold there in 1870 making it the 2nd largest gold rush in history!" Pegasus paused for a sec to regain his composure then said, "In downtown Silver City there should be a train station and to the right of the door should be some lockers." Looking to Croquet he said, "Do you have the keys?" Croquet opened a box revealing six keys attached to rings that have the emblem of the hotel on it. "These are six identical keys that open the same locker, that is Locker 001."  
  
Everyone took a key and looked at it curiously. "Inside the locker should be a red duffel bag and inside the bag is 2 million dollars!"  
Everyone paused at this thought. "Now the first one there wins and whoever wins keeps all the money!" "Woah!" went everyone. "Well that's about it! Go!"  
  
Everyone just stayed there and Vash said, "You just can't pick people at random!" "Hey I do what I choose! I own this place and I am a bit eccentric! Go!"  
  
Piro asked, "So this is a race?" Pegasus responded, "That's right Piro!" "Here that Illprazzo", yelled Excel, "THIS IS A RACE! Hear me Ilpalazzo! I will win it then we will have more than enough money to rule the world and discipline it!" "So what are the rules" asked Piro. "There is only one rule ready. There are no rules! Go!" "No rules I can't lose! Woohoo", yelled Homer. "L33T", said Largo. "GO!" Pegasus yelled again. "So when you say go", asked Skuld, "you mean just go?" "Go, let the games begin, start. Technically speaking you have been racing for three minutes and so far Mr. Saotome is winning because he is the one nearest to the door!"  
  
Everyone still refused to budge. Pegasus sighed and said, "Vash may I borrow you gun?" "Okay" Pegasus fired Vash's gun into the air and in the chaos everyone screamed. *********************************  
  
Everyone was now outside in the elevator lobby. "Wow", said Homer, "2 million dollars!" "D4 I\/I0I\I3j is L33T!" said Largo. "I don't know", said Skuld, "this might be a scam. "But what if there is 2 million dollars", asked Vash. "It's too risky if you ask me."  
  
As they were discussing this, the billionaires were watching this. Also Excel was pacing herself as if she were at a track meet.  
  
"There's no way I am going for it", said Skuld. "No way for me", said Vash. "I am not stupid", said Homer. 'Yes you are', said his brain. "Shut up brain!" Homer responded. "1 D01\1+ +h1I\IK $0", said Largo "Translation", asked Homer. "He said 'I don't think so'", said Piro.  
  
As they waited for the elevator Homer said slowly, "I . . . am going to . . . take the stairs. I need the . . . exercise." With that he quickly ran down the stairs.  
  
"It might be stuck", said Vash, "I'll take the stairs too"  
  
Minutes later everyone was running down the stairs. Well, everyone but Ranma Saotome. Soon Largo tripped and fell on Piro and soon everyone fell down the stairs onto on cramped area. "Wait a minute", said Vash, "If we are going to do this we might as well go together!" "Yea split the money 50 - 50!" exclaimed Homer. "50 - 50", asked Largo. "Well you know 50- 50 (mumbling gibberish) . . . . . . . . well you get the idea!" said Vash. "Yes that is a great idea," said Belldandy.  
  
Suddenly Excel ran by and yelling, "I am in a race Ilpalazzo! I am winning! Excel! Excel! Excel!"  
  
Everyone stared for a sec and started shoving each other off. ***********************  
  
At the elevators the doors just opened and Ranma went in. Soon a housekeeper came near and asked him to hold the door open. "Sure", he said, "Plenty of time!" ********************  
  
" . . . and their off!" said Pegasus. He turned from the monitors to his company. They were some of the greediest tycoons in the fantasy world, like Mr. Burns, his assistant Waylin Smithers, Geovanni, The Bonnes, Bowser, Dr. Robotnik (Eggman), and even Ilpalazzo himself.  
  
"This is going to be a very interesting horse race gentlemen. It uses animals that can think cheat and, (chuckle) play dirty. This shows that I understand you men!" **********************  
  
"Excel! Excel! Excel! I shall win this race for Ilpalazzo and for Across!" yelled Excel as she ran.  
  
Meanwhile, nearby, Barney was playing darts and, being the drunk that he is, threw a dart into the lobby. The dart hit Excel in the forehead. She fell near a column and died. ************************  
  
"What happened", asked Mr. Burns. "She's dead!" exclaimed Pegasus. "Oh this thing happens to her all the time", said Ilpalazzo, "She gets killed but she gets revived by the Great Will of the Macrocosm. She will rejoin momentarily." "But I bet 2 grand on her", yelled Geovanni. "Me too", yelled Bowser. "Sorry everyone all the bets are locked in", said Pegasus. ************************  
  
"This is a major offer Marge! It will benefit the whole family", said Homer. "Where is this", she asked. "Oh, in Silver City, New Mexico", Homer replied. "Oh, gold rush!" said Lisa. "Well this sounds interesting, why don't we go with you", said Marge. "No you can't", yelled Homer. "Why?" asked Marge. "Because the room has been paid for see!" "I don't care! This is our family vacation, so we are going with you!"  
  
As they headed out Bart asked, "So what is it this time Home boy?" "It's just a deal son." "Sure it is."  
  
Homer brought him close, "Okay but don't tell this to anyone, not even you mother, Lisa or Maggie!"  
  
He quickly whispered the truth in his ear. "Aye Carumba! Let's head out and get that loot!" "Promise me you won't", asked Homer. "Don't worry I'll keep this one covered!"  
  
To be continued . . . . . . . . .  
  
The Time Traveler: Well did you all like that! Excel: I got killed! I'll see you get killed for that! The Time Traveler: Don't worry you'll resume shortly! Vash: Besides this world is made of The TT& Vash: Love and Peace! The Time Traveler: Anyway, please review if you wish, and have a Happy Halloween! 


	4. All Flights Cancelled! Except one!

Rat Race.Anime Style!  
Chapter 3  
All flights cancelled.but one!  
  
AN: At the suggestion of my brother and a friend of his, I am replacing the original character that Yue Hongo (from Fushigi Yuugi) plays and replacing her with Naru Narusawaga(from Love Hina (did I get her name right)). Hope you enjoy.  
  
Everyone rushed out of the hotel and into there own vehicles and headed to the airport. Vash got stuck in a taxicab.  
  
He was having a friendly with the driver Otto, who was listening to a drag race on the radio. "Come on, Come on", he said. The radio announced that there was a major crash on the race. "ALLL RIGHT", he yelled. Turning to Vash he said, "You like drag racing." "Oh no way, I don't like the sight of blood." "Speaking of which, do you ever heard of that $60,000,000,000,000 guy! Man, I wish I can get him, I had an apartment in that area and I lost it. Now I have to work in this Taxi company and the school bus route to buy a new one!" Realizing the situation, Vash hid his face behind the seat.  
  
*******************  
  
Piro and Largo were bent over a map, looking it over, "Are we lost", asked Piro. "No", said Largo, "I can't find the airport." As he said that, a plane whizzed by in the background.  
  
*********************************  
  
"You know Skuld", said Belldandy, "We might not get an airplane." "Don't worry, I have made a plane myself, and a fast one at that. It's just waiting for us at the runway!"  
  
***************************************  
  
All of the cars arrived at the airport, as well as Vash's cab. "Thanks", he said and paid Otto. "Thanks dude", said Otto.  
  
As soon as Vash left a girl that was observing by the name of Meryl Strife, came up to Otto and said, "Did you know who that guy was", asked Meryl. "No", replied Otto. "That was the Humanoid Typhoon! The $60,000,000,000,000 man!" "Oh man! You're right! That was him", said a shocked Otto, "Dude! I had him in the cab and I let him go!"  
  
*****************************************  
  
Ranma laughed as he saw the racers head for the ticket offices. "Losers", he laughed. Noticing that he still had the key in his hand, he tossed it away, which landed in a nearby fountain. "I am not afraid, I am not going after it." At that moment, I, The Time Traveler, yelled from the fountain, "You'll be back!"  
  
Ranma then noticed a young girl was sitting nearby. She had long brown hair, and blue eyes. She was reading a book. Ranma strolled on up to her. "Hello", he said. The girl looked up, "Hello."  
  
"You know it's a coincidence, because you and I are reading the same book", said Ranma holding up a copy. "Yes, I see", replied the girl. "What part are you at", asked Ranma. "Well this pilot just had a sex change." "WHAT", said Ranma, as he flipped through." "Gotcha", said the girl. "Very funny", said Ranma. "You're an interesting person Mr." "I'm Ranma Saotome", said Ranma. "Naru Narusawaga", said the girl. "Say you want to have a drink with me", he asked. "Sorry I am flying, I'm a pilot." "Didn't know that there were any female pilots out there." "Oh yeah, well how many do you know", remarked Naru. After thinking a bit Ranma replied, "I don't have one now, but soon I'll come up with a smart remark to that!" "Good luck", said Naru, then with an added sigh she said, "Idiot."  
  
***********************************  
  
Near the ticket office, Vash quickly asked, "One way to New Mexico!" The ticket was handed to him and he quickly ran off.  
  
Behind him Homer and the rest of the Simpsons ran up to the ticket holder. "Four seats for a one way to New Mexico." The woman started typing. "Hurry up, we got to get there", yelled Bart.  
  
************************************  
  
Outside the airport in an old bi-plane Belldandy said, "This is interesting, you flew this?" "Yep", replied Skuld, "all we have to do is wait for the all clear and we take off."  
  
**************************************  
  
Piro and Largo quickly ran through the line and up front. "Hey I was next", said someone. "No you weren't", replied Largo. "Please forgive my friend, but for once he is right!"  
  
Soon a whole argument broke out until Largo punched one the people's lights out. "Who's next", asked the receptionist. The crowd quickly pointed to Piro and Largo. "One way ticket to New Mexico please", asked Largo. The receptionist looked at the screen. "Oh sorry we're all booked. There is a 4:00 but you'll have to switch in Pittsburgh."  
  
"Well", said Piro, "That's it." "1\l0 \/\/@j", said Largo. "We are not backing down. "If we are not leaving, no one else is!"  
  
A few minutes later, Piro was behind the wheel of a truck, while Largo was taking a rope with a hook, through a mesh wire fence, to the radar tower. "How does he talk me into these", he asked.  
  
Suddenly, Seraphim, his conscience, appeared on his shoulder. "What are you doing Piro? Don't you know this will stop all the flights." "Yes", said Piro, "But listen." He quickly explained everything to Seraphim. "Well why didn't you tell me that! This is a golden opportunity! Get to it", said Seraphim.  
  
Meanwhile Largo was almost to the top when Boo, his conscience, appeared on his shoulder (Boo is a hamster with attach on wings). "Squeek Squeek", said Boo. "Yeah Boo, were sure gonna get the L33T $2,000,000." Realizing why he was doing this, Boo willingly gave in, just like Seraphim.  
  
Largo hooked the hook onto the radar. "It's done", said Largo. Suddenly the dish started beeping and the tip glowed. "Is that good", asked Piro. "No, so I would get out of the car if I were you", said Seraphim and vanished.  
  
The dish started turning, and rotating, therefore it was curling up the rope. "Piro", yelled Largo in excitement.  
  
The rope started pulling the car through the fence. "Oh dear", said Piro.  
  
The car soon started going up the tower, where Largo was still hanging. "Piro! Stop the car", he said, not realizing the idiocy of what he said. He soon landed on the car's hood. Soon one of the car's wheels got caught in the tower's structure. The car opposed the rotation therefore causing the radar dish to be pulled down. It broke and fell lopsided on the tower. Piro and Largo were still screaming to get down.  
  
***********************************  
  
"The radar is gone", said a radar observer. "We'll have to cancel the flights", said another, "Check the problem." Someone with binoculars looked out there and saw a blue truck with two kids hanging on it.  
  
***********************************  
  
Due to radar problems, all flights are postponed until further notice. Thank You", said the P.A, "We apologize for any inconvenience."  
  
"Darn", muttered Ranma.  
  
Meanwhile everyone hurried back to the vehicles. Belldandy and Skuld quickly bought a new one. Piro and Largo bought a new one. The Simpsons had their own car. Vash quickly headed into a cab. "East please", he said. The driver turned to reveal that it was Otto. "Well, Hello again pardner", he said slyly, "East it is!"  
  
Getting back to Ranma he went to the area were Naru was sitting and reading. "All right I got one. I know another female pilot. It is that pilot in that book because he had a sex change!" "Very late", said Naru. "Wanna chat", said Ranma. "No I am flying", said Naru. "But all the flights are cancelled. "Not mine because I am flying a helicopter, we run on a different system." "Really", said Ranma, "Where are you flying?" "Roswell, New Mexico, because we been repainting the fleet."  
  
Ranma's eyes brightened, "Your flying to New Mexico! No one else is flying!" "Yea", said Naru, "Why, you need a lift?"  
  
Realizing the situation Ranma ran to the fountain. He saw where the key was still there. "I am not going to regret this. Two million dollars! Two million dollars!" With that he jumped in the fountain and grabbed the key. However because the water was cold he was now in his girl form. "How I hate this", she said.  
  
The Time Traveler came near her and said, "I told you, you would be back!" "Aw buzz off Time Travler. With that I left.  
  
Naru stared at her and said, "I think you can explain this to me on the way." "Yes I think I can", replied Ranma.  
  
**********************************  
  
Back at the hotel Croquet took a chocolate from a box and ate it. "Coconut", he said. "All right, who had coconut", asked Pegasus. "OH I DID", yelled Teasel Bonne (from Mega Man Legends). "Congrats", said Pegasus as he handed him the money.  
  
To be continued....  
  
Time Traveler: That was great wasn't it!  
  
Inuyasha: It was all right!  
  
Excel: WHY AM I NOT BACK IN THE RACE!  
  
Time Traveler: Sonic, stop her.  
  
*Sonic attacks Excel relentlessly*  
  
*Yue comes in*  
  
Yue: Hey why did you take me out of the fic?  
  
Time Traveler: I just recently read the comic and Naru fit the personality more, plus my brother and his friend suggested it.  
  
Yue: I'll kill you!  
  
*Time Traveler pulls a rope sending her into a pit*  
  
Time Travler: Well that's all for now Fanfiction.Netters. See you soon, and don't hesitate to review! 


	5. Transportation Problems

Rat Race.......Anime Style  
  
Chapter 4  
Transportation problems  
  
The Simpson's family van was speeding off down the road. "Homer do you have to go so fast", asked Marge. "Of course", said Homer, "This is an opportunity of a life time!" "Yea give the home-man a break will ya", said Bart. Hmmm, thought Lisa, Bart usually doesn't agree with dad, unless there is something he is in on. Lisa suddenly cringed and said, "Dad I need to go." "What but we just stopped!" said Homer. "The bathroom there was gross!"  
  
Marge then saw a sign that showed where a restaurant was. "Homer there is a restaurant let's stop there!" "No way", said Homer, "It is 3 miles off the road. That's five minutes going there and back. We lose 10 minutes." "So what", said Marge, "your daughter needs to go to the bathroom!" "Okay", said Homer, "Bart look for an empty jar!" "Aye-aye", said Bart. "Homey", said Marge, "girls don't pee in jars!" "Right", said Homer, "Bart look for a jar and a funnel." "Dad it is a number two!" yelled Lisa. "Too bad because we are not stopping!" "But I am prairie dogging it", responded Lisa. "What is that supposed to mean", asked Homer. "It is like when a prairie dog sticks it's head in and out of the ground", responded Bart. "Ewww", said Homer.  
  
**************************************************  
  
"Silver City it is, buddy", said Otto as he was driving Vash in his taxi across the desert highway. "Well, that's good", said Vash. He pulled out a wallet and asked, "How much do you think it will cost?" "Oh, why don't you pay what you think is fair. Because I really trust you", said Otto. "Really, thanks", said Vash.  
  
****************************************************  
  
"Come on Lisa, hurry up", yelled Homer. After a little argument with Marge, Homer and his family stopped at a nearby rest stop. Lisa was inside a Port-O-John doing her "business". (AN: I am sorry but I didn't want to put that scene in Rat Race in this fic.) "I'll be out shortly", yelled Lisa from inside. "Come on we got to hurry", yelled Bart. Marge looked at the two men. "Okay, what is going on?" "Nothing, mom", said Bart, "I am just as anxious to get there, that is all." Marge let out her ever-famous groan.  
  
************************************************************  
  
Skuld and Belldandy's car drove up to a nearby curb. On the curb was an overweight man with a ponytail. He wore a blue shirt, red pants and sneakers. Behind him were tables piled high with comics. He got up from his seat and went over to them. "Oh", he said, "I see you have stopped due to the fact you possibly want one of my comics I am selling here." "No, sir we just want to get back to the highway", said Skuld. "Come on now. These comics are in mint condition and they are the best high quality comics ever." Gesturing over to another table he said, "And in case your not interested in American comics, I have manga all the way from Japan." He held up a manga. "Like this one, Love Hina. Best Humor Manga ever. Or perhaps some of these Star Wars comics!" "No, don't you see we don't want any comics!" "Hmmm, get any grouchier than that you will become the She- Hulk. But don't fret, for I know where the highway is.  
  
"Oh you do", said Belldandy, "Where is it?" "Tell you what", said the Comic Book Store Guy, "Since I like you two, I will tell you a very good shortcut that will save you a couple of miles."  
  
Overjoyed at this, Belldandy took out a pen and notebook and began to write down his directions. "Now listen or you'll be more lost than Ryoga. You go down 4.3 miles that way, and turn left at the Lon Lon Ranch (Yes, I decided to use the ranch from Zelda: Ocarina of Time), then after 2.3 miles, you'll find a small sign with some graffiti on it and then turn right and you'll head on a small dirt road. Follow it and you will find the highway faster than you can say 'The Flash'!"  
  
Bell put the pad away and thanked him. "Oh, and before you go, take this complementary pamphlet for the upcoming comic convention. Just in case." "Thanks again", said Bell and with that Skuld drove the car away.  
  
After they drove off the Comic Book Store looked at stared in their direction and said, "Worst customers ever!" **********************************************************  
  
Homer's car was pulled over to the side of the road. Behind his car was a police cruiser. The police officer was looking at Homer with a stern face. "He he", giggled Homer, "How fast was I going?" With that he stroked the back of his head like he was full female blondie (no offense to any readers in the audience). ********************************************************  
  
Ranma-Chan was flying high, litarally. She was in a helicopter with Naru. She looked down, knowing somewhere her fellow "racers" were having problems. "Losers", she said.  
  
"Now let me get this straight", said Naru. "You are cursed that whenever you get hit by cold water you become a girl, and the effect reverses by cold water." "Yes that's how it goes", said Ranma-Chan. "Man, that must be sad." "More than you realize", said Ranma-Chan, "Oh and incidentally were will you drop me off?"  
  
Naru pulled out a map and pointed to a location. "Right here because this is the closest we can get to the hospital", she said. "By the way what is wrong with your fiancée?" Ranma-Chan then said, "Look, first of all, she is only my fiancée because our parents set us up. Second, it doesn't matter because she is such a brutish tomboy and she gets herself out of the worst situations!" "Ooookayyyy", said Naru.  
  
******************************************************  
  
The cab that was driven by Otto with Vash as his passenger was moving through a dessert that was away from the highway.  
  
"Umm", said Vash, "Are we going the right way?" "Sure we are dude. This is a little shortcut", replied Otto. "Well I think we should stay on the highway", said Vash. "Oh ,that's a big thought, you say we should stay on the highway, I say we use my shortcut", said Otto.  
  
"You know", said Vash, "If I wasn't compassionate I would take my gun and blow your head off!"  
  
A few minutes later the cab was stopped and Vash was scramblilng to the far side of the back seat while Otto was trying to get his hands on him. "No, please, I swear it was all a mistake", yelled Vash. "Come here, you are not much of a big shot are you", yelled Otto.  
  
Again, a few minutes later Otto was driven off in the distance waving Vash's pants!  
  
As for Vash he was left in the hot desert sun, barefoot and pants- less. The only thing Vash was wearing on the bottom was a pair of boxers. He has his key in his hand.  
  
He hopped about the hot, hot sand. He quickly got into the shade of a cactus to shade his feet. He tried to move out but unfortunately the sand was too hot to move. He yelled in agony!  
  
******************************************************  
  
The Simpson's van drove down the road. Homer, determined to make up progress, was speeding up the car. However, along the way they saw a sign that said "The Anti- World Corruption Museum". "Oh wow", remarked Lisa, "A museum that is against world curruption. Can we go dad!" "No way, we're not stopping", said Homer. "But this could be a very intellectual, being on trying to help our planet", responded Lisa. "Well, I don't think Bart wants to head to some museum", said Homer, confident that Bart will support him. However Bart responded, "Sorry Hom-boy, but I will stop anywhere, I gots to get out!" Maggie sucked her pacifier in agreement.  
  
"You heard the kids, let's stop", yelled Marge. "No, way!" yelled Homer. "HOMER STOP THIS CAR", yelled Marge. "Okay", whimpered Homer, "but for 10 minutes." "Wow", said Lisa, "this could help us a lot in saving our planet.  
  
However, the Simpsons didn't expect what was on the inside.  
  
Inside the museum, the Simpsons were got involved in a tour of it. It turned out the museum was actually a museum for, "ACROSS", said a man that almost looks like he was out of the mafia, "The ideological organization made to conquer the entire world one city at a time then the world would be free of this corruption. This Anti-World Corruption museum was dedicated in honor of the people of ACROSS. I am your host This Man."  
  
All the Simpsons did was gasp and stare.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Piro and Largo were driving down the road when they happened to pass a nearby museum and spotted a particular van. "Hey Piro", said Largo, "That's the engine we really need!" Piro nodded and they pulled over.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
"Over here", continued This Man, "Is the founder for ACROSS, That Man, he was the insperation for it all, in fact you can find the car he used to drive a ghostly, foreign worker called 'Pedro' to the Tokyo Bay out front in our main court yard." This Man then noticed the Simpson family starting to back away towards the exit.  
  
"You're going, we still have to see the Illpalazzo area." "Well", said Homer, "We have a 4:30 training and then a small get together with our Across followers, so anyway wegottarungottago!" With that the entire Simpson family ran out of the museum.  
  
However when they reached the van they saw that the engine was pulled out. They were all shocked. "Now what are going to do", said Bart. Homer glanced at the courtyard and said, "I got an idea!" ************************************************************  
  
"I say the Highway", yelled Largo. "No I say we stick to this route!" yelled Piro.  
  
On Piro's shoulder Seraphim materialized. She lighted a cigarette in her mouth and asked, "What seems to be the matter Piro?" "Largo says we should head onto the Highway and I say we should stick to the road!" Seraphim then responded, "You know there is two of you, why don't you just separate!" "That's a great idea", said Piro. "What is", asked Largo.  
  
Just as Seraphim vanished Piro said, "Look Largo there are two of us, we split up, then our chances of getting the money increases!" "L33T idea Piro", said Largo he held up the key and was about to hand it to Piro when he noticed something, "We only have one key!"  
  
*********************************************************  
  
The Simpsons were driving down the road in a car, not their own. "I can't believe it Homer", remarked Bart, "You just stole That Man's Mitsubishi!" "Yea, but after trying to conquer the world he deserves it!" "They won't like you for this dad", said Lisa. "Hey, they are world- conquerors they are always mean", said Marge. "Uh-Huh, it's almost like it's their job!"  
  
Hey everone! The Time Traveler here. I hope I did a good job! Please don't hesitate to review! Ta Ta for now! 


	6. Buses, Helicopters, Excel rejoins the ra...

Rat Race.....Anime Style  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Buses, Helicopters, Excel rejoins the race, and A THEFT!  
  
The Time Traveler: Hey ya'll it's me again!! I finally got the urge to continue writing after seeing it again and this time I recorded it. Oh by the way I was helping a friend of mine with one of his fanfics but you can read that in the profile. His name is SP Action Extreme, which of course I like to thank him for being a good reviewer as well as a friend.  
  
(Excel approaches)  
  
Excel: When do I get back in the race.  
  
Triple T: Don't worry you'll be getting back in this chapter so please don't kill me or I will ask SP Action Extreme to have Phluffy come and kill you!!  
  
Excel: Fine!  
  
Triple T: Once again I don't own Rat Race nor any of the characters from other shows! Well enjoy!  
  
Vash was wondering around in the dessert. The pantless gunman had to tear his red coat (Note to my brother: if you are reading this please don't kill me!) and put it around his feet, to prevent the hot sand from burning them.  
  
As he wandered through the seemingly endless wasteland he looked around and said, "Where am I?!!  
  
**************************************************************  
  
Naru and Ranma-Chan were flying high in the chopper above a nice looking neighborhood. "What are we doing here", asked Ranma. "Just a small detour", said Naru, "I just want to say hi to my boyfriend Seta." Ranma nodded her head in agreement.  
  
As they neared her boyfriend Seta's house, Naru noticed an familiar looking car in the driveway. Naru looked shocked.  
  
"Why that son of a bitch! That's Kitsune's car!!" "Who is Kitsune", asked Ranma. "His ex-girlfriend, or so I thought!" exclaimed Naru  
  
Ranma wanted to calm her down, so she said, "Well he may not be two- timing you, maybe she here to pick up some clothes or..." She fell short when she saw Seta and Kitsune in a hot tub out in the backyard.  
  
Naru glared and went into her angry mode (similar to the time when she first met Kietaro in episode 1 of Love Hina).  
  
Seta then noticed the helicopter and who was piloting it. She quickly hid her fox-faced girl friend by shoving her into the pool.  
  
"HEY DID I COME AT A BAD TIME TWO-TIMER!!!" yelled Naru. She then turned down the throttle and sent the chopper into a nosedive. "I'LL RAM THIS CHOPPER DOWN YOUR THROAT!"  
  
Naru then swooped down near the couple then made a u-turn and went down again. "Hey Naru", yelled Seta, "What the heck are you doing?!" "DON'T WORRY I HAVE BEEN FLYING SINCE I WAS 14!!" yelled Naru. "I am not worried about you, I am worried about me", resoponded Seta.  
  
Naru then had the helicopter the hover above the hot tub. "HEY YOU HAVE A MOMENT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP!!!" As Naru said this, the wind, caused by helicopter's blades, caused the hot tub to fall apart and the water fell out with a splash, along with Kitsune, and Seta. Also some of the hot water splashed inside the chopper hitting Ranma making her/him a boy again.  
  
While Seta was struggling to get up, Naru decided to take out her anger on Seta's truck! She threw the chopper's fire extinguisher onto the truck's backside and shattered the glass. "TAKE THAT YOU CREEP", yelled Naru. She then threw a wrench and made a dent in the hood. She then took out a paint bucket and handed it to Ranma. "Here, help me, open this up", said Naru. "Uhhh, I rather stay out of...", said Ranma. "OPEN IT OR I WILL KNOCK YOU INTO ORBIT", yelled Naru. "Okay", whimpered Ranma. He then pried the top off the can. Naru took it from him and threw it down on the truck's hood splattering paint everywhere.  
  
Seta, who got his shirt on, ran towards his truck. "No, not the truck", he yelled. He got in an took off in it, with a hot headed helicopter pilot (say that 23 times fast!) on his tale. "COME BACK HERE YOU TWO-TIMING SNAKE! YOU PERV, YOU PRUNE!" yelled Naru.  
  
Naru kept chasing Seta even across the highway. "OH WHAT WAS I THINKING, I WANT MY FIVE MONTHS BACK!" she continued to yell. "I AM GETTING THE TATTOO REMOVED!!"  
  
Soon the highway was behind them and they were on a dessert road. Unknowingly they zoomed by two individuals. One was an oversized brown cockroach that was standing on two legs, the other was boy with black hair, a denub jacket over a red t-shirt, blue jeans and brown leather shoes. He had red face and carried a yellow tipped baton. The two saw the two vehicles zoom past. After they observed this the boy said to the cockroach, "This is one weird town." "What about F City", said the cockroach. "I stand corrected", responded the boy. They both then continued on their journey (AN: Those two are Rocky Cockradio and the Evil One, which I, The Time Traveler, and my friend, SP Action Extreme, own. For more info see the end of the fic.)  
  
Getting back to Naru, she was hitting the side of the truck with the landing gear. Soon Seta turned the truck onto the dessert. Using the wind caused by the chopper's blades, she went near the ground and whirled the helicopter in a circle causing a huge sandstorm. The sand blinded Seta and the truck crashed into some bushes. "I think you killed him", said Ranma. "No you can't kill him he is like a cockroach", said Naru. (Rocky heard this, and in response he took out a megaphone and yelled through it, "I heard that you insolent human!").  
  
Suddenly the alarms in the helicopter started blaring notifying that the copter's engine was overheated and such. "Uh Oh", said Naru. "No, 'Uh Oh'", responded Ranma, "Fix the 'Uh Oh'!" Soon the helicopter landed and came to a standstill. "We just violated about 15 federal laws", said Naru. "What do you mean we", asked Ranma. "Quick lets go", said Naru. "No I prefer", before Ranma could finish Naru kissed him deeply on the lips. "Good-bye", she said. Ranma thought for a moment and then said, "Wait I am coming!" Then he quickly tried to get out of the chopper.  
  
Meanwhile Naru opened the door of the truck and threw the barley conscious Seta out. He quickly came to and said to her, "Naru! That's it we are through!" In response Naru gave him a punch in the jaw, knocking him out cold. She quickly hoped in the truck. Shortly, after she pulled out, Ranma came running up to the passenger side and hopped in.  
  
"You know this is the first illegal thing I have done in my life", said Ranma as they started off. "How does it feel", asked Naru. "Well a little shaky but it may be from the helicopter crash", he responded.  
  
Suddenly Seta appeared in the passanger window and was grabbing on to the pane and was running along side the truck. "Get out this is my truck", he yelled. "IT'S MY TRUCK, I PAID FOR IT!" responded Naru. Seta then noticed Ranma, "Hey whoever you are, you lay a finger on her and I..." Seta never finished because Naru rolled the window up on him and he got caught in it. "By the way", said Naru, "Seta do me a favor, Kitsune left her bra in the truck!" As she said that she held up a silk pink bra then she shoved it into Seta's mouth. "Could you make sure she gets that for me? Thank you and TAKE THIS!" She opened the window a little and punched Seta so hard he flew across the sands and past Rocky and One.  
  
"How do you clock that", asked Rocky. "According to my WAND's speed gun, about up to Mach 1" responded One. Rocky whistled his impressiveness.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Vash, who was walking through the dessert up until know, was relieved when he saw a roadside rest station. He quickly ran up to a nearby water fountain and took a drink from it.  
  
While he was drinking he overheard some lady's which were cosplaying some very familiar characters, probably from an old sitcom. "Where is the driver", said 1 lady. "He's in the powder room", responded the other. "Oh man, he better hurry or we will never make it to Santa Fe' by 3 o clock!" Vash, suddenly got an idea. He slowly entered the restroom.  
  
The driver of the bus was busy washing his hands when suddenly he heard the door slam. He turned and he saw Vash.  
  
Vash started acting like he was out of breath and said, "Mister, you must help me! My wife is out back, she's having a baby!" "A baby", asked the driver. "YES A BABY! AND IT'S HALFWAY OUT!" responded Vash. He pointed to the driver's jacket and said, "I need your jacket!" The driver looked concerned and asked, "Why my jacket?" Vash quickly thought up something and said, "For her.....For her iniamic sac! You know where the mucus is gushing." He emphasized this with a dramatic gestures. "JUST QUICK THE JACKET!" The driver then took his jacket off, but then Vash added, "And your pants!" "MY PANTS!?" , questioned the driver. "Yea for her parsenthia, and the", Vash went on with dramatic gestures and more graphic lines. "QUICK THE PANTS", he said finally. The driver then took of his pants. Vash then quickly said, "I also need your hat!" "WHY MY HAT NOW!?" said the bus driver. "For her....VIGINA!" "OHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
A few minutes later Vash stepped out of the mens room in a bus drivers uniform. "All right you lovely lady's lets go!" Vash said as he went up to the ladys. "But where is Marty", one asked. "Family Emergency, his wife is having a baby!" responded Vash "A baby?!" remarked the other lady. "Yes. My name is Vash, I am your new driver." He said as he urged them inside the bus, which had a lot of noise coming from within.  
  
As Vash got in to the driver's seat one of the lady's was calling everyone to attention. "OK everybody we will be on our way. This here is Vash, he is our new driver. Everyone say Hellllooooooooooooooooo!" Vash turned to see the seats filled with cosplayers dressed as the same character and they all yelled, "Hellllllllooooooooooooo Vaaaash!" Vash turned and recovered from the shock. "Our next stop", said the head lady, "Is the third annual I Love Lucy convention in Santa Fe', New Mexico. What do we say to that?" "AWOOOOOOOOOOO", yelled all the Lucy cosplayers.  
  
Vash had a little trouble getting the bus going, but eventually he got the hang of it and drove off.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Meanwhile, all the way back at the hotel, people where gathering near the piller where Excel lay dead. "Is she dead", asked someone. Suddenly a blue circle of stars with arms went near Excel.  
  
In Excels mind she saw her. "Excel, wake up. Excel!" "Great Will of the Macrocasm", asked Excel. "Excel", said Will, "You musn't die, the race has just begun and you must catch up to the competitors for the money. Now with this great power of mine please come back.  
  
*story reset* (you know what I mean for you Excel Saga fans out there)  
  
Soon Ralph Wiggum came up to Excel. "Excuse me are you dead?" Startled, Excel finally re-awoke and everyone near her ran off. Excel, finally remembered what she was doing and started running off saying, "Oh yea I am in a race! Here me Illpalazzo I will win the race! Must run like I am after Menchi!"  
  
As she was saying this, she ran out of the hotel and into the street. She was then hit by a car that had a huge burger in front of it. "Oh no. I think we hit something", said the driver. The other in the passenger area said, "Uh, Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?" "Oh come on Ed", said the driver, "Someone could be hurt!" "Oh", said Ed.  
  
They both got out of the car and went near Excel. They both tried to rouse her suddenly they noticed a woman who yelled, "Wait I saw the whole thing! Stay there I will be right down!" "Oh no, it is Gloria Allried", said the driver, who's name is Dexter.  
  
"Come on dude get up", yelled Ed. "WHYYYYYY?!" yelled Dexter. Suddenly Excel got up, "TA DA!" "Your fine, you won't sue us will you", asked Dexter. "TAXI", yelled Excel. "Wait! You don't need a taxi. Tell us where your going and perhaps we can drop you off." "I don't know Dex, it doesn't sound nice just to drop her", said Ed. "I mean we get there we just let here go on out the car and we drive off, Hucklberry!" said Dexter. "OHHHH. So where you heading", asked Ed. "Why I am headed for Silver City, New Mexico, for I am participating in an ignorant masses race!" "Silver City", responded Dexter, "This your lucky day! We're headed for El Paso! It is right on the way!" With that they opened the back seat and allowed her into the car. "Oh but listen we have to be there by 5 o clock tonight so we will be driving very fast", said Dexter. "PERFECT! LET'S ROLL!" yelled Excel. "I AM DRIVING!" yelled Ed. "Oh Man!" said Ed. With that the Burger Mobile rolled off at top speed.  
  
********************************************************************  
  
Piro and Largo where talking to an oversized praying mantis who's name is Zorak. He was trying to discuss a deal with him if he copies the key they can provide another for a free price. "No we just need one." "Are you sure, I can provide a third for free", said Zorak. "No just one now move it", said Largo. While Zorak turned to get a copy Largo said, "This is a L33T plan. We get two keys, we split up and double our chances of getting the money!" Piro nodded and said, "That is right, now to make sure you don't mess up, where are we headed?" "Silver City, New Mexico", said Largo. "Now remember, we must keep this a secret, no disgression." "You S3r310us. "Yes we are talking about 2 million dollars here, people would kill us to get that key!" "Understood!"  
  
Zorak happened to overhear the conversation and he got a slight grin.  
  
Later, outside in the car, Piro and Largo were talking. "Okay, I'll take this car you can steal one." "I am going to s+3al that blue one over there", said Largo. "Once one of us has the money we will wait for the other okay. And don't forget your key..." Piro stopped short when he noticed the key was wrong and then he noticed the other key was the same but it was not the key Pegasus gave them this morning. "Why that lousy, cheating bug!" yelled Piro, "He will ph3ar my wrath!" As he said this Zorak was driving off in a van and he yelled, "So long suckers!" "There he is", yelled Largo. "G3T TH@T BUG!" Piro nodded and stepped on the gas, and took off after Zorak.  
  
To be continued......  
  
TTT: The Time Traveler here. Well that is it for now. I hope you enjoyed it. I just got so exiliarated from finally recording Rat Race on a DVD-RW and editing it, that I wanted to write this. Oh by the way those two charaters, Rocky and One, they are from Shortstuff & Phluffy: Action Extreme copyright SP Action Extreme and me, The Time Traveler. Well ta ta for now! 


	7. A partnership, A chase, and We should ha...

Rat Race. . . . Anime Style  
  
Chapter 6  
A partnership, A chase, and, "We should have bought a comic!"  
  
Authors moment: Hey, my authors, my authoresses, and everyone else here that is NOT A MEMBER OF THIS SITE! (smiles) Today, your patience has made you all equals, for I am on break for the time being from college, I have decided to write this baby up, plus, I like all the review I have gotten. This I hope will satisfy all of you. So without any further guillininy and with no more ado I give you this new chapter to a humerous parody, to a fanfic I thought hoped would be liked, the one, the only. . . . rrrrrRAT RACE ANIME STYLE!!!!! (bows his head) Thank you, I will be here all week!  
  
"Your serious", said Naru, "THE MAXIMILLION PEGASUS. WHO OWNS INDUSTRIAL ILLUSIONS!" "That's right", said Ranma. The two were in a coffee shop, after that hassle they had in the helicopter, the two decided to make a stop and Ranma decided to come clean, so he told her the race he was involved in and it's prize.  
  
"Anyway, we have to make a decision now!" He pointed out on a road map, "We are currently here right now. If everyone else had to drive, we still have a 3 hour headstart so we have a very large chance of making it there first!" Naru glared and said, "So are you suggesting I join up with you on this race for two million dollars?" "That's right, you and I can form a partnership! We win we split the winnings 50-50" Then Ranma picked up his key and held it out saying, "You can even hold the key, because I trust you." Naru took it and sighed and said, "Don't believe this, I mean this morning I had a job and I was just reading a book and. . . . ." Before she could finish Ranma said to her, "My mom once told me that good things take time, but great things happen all at once!" They both smiled at each other.

* * *

Belldandy and Skuld were busy driving down a small road. "Look there is the yellow sign with some graffiti", said Skuld. "According to that guy we are supposed to turn right here", said Belldandy. "Okay", said Skuld and they turned.  
  
Everything seemed normal, but however, a few seconds after turning their car went straight down a very steep hill. "YAAAAAAAAGH!" they screamed.  
  
As they went down, they saw these signs, they said in the following order, YOU. . . .SHOULD . . . . HAVE. . . . . . . . BOUGHT . . . . . A . . . . COMIC. "WHY THAT GUY! If I see him again, I will give him a Skuld bomb", said Skuld. As she said that, three more signs came up saying, WORST . . . . .CUSTOMER(S) . . . . . . . .EVER. After "EVER" they fell of a cliff into a pile of other "customers" that refused. They could tell because as soon as they landed, a skeleton holding a pamphlet for the comic convention fell on their car, which scared them more. "Last thing we need is someone to laugh at us", said Skuld.  
  
She spoke too soon, because a certain bully, who was bicycling by pointed to them and said, "Haw, haw!"

* * *

"So I think that episode 22 is an excellent episode", said one of the Lucys. Three Lucy cosplayers were busy chatting about Lucy whatnot near Vash's seat. Vash of course was getting annoyed by this. He was almost beginning to wish he was still in the dessert.  
  
He soon noticed a Lucy was smoking, and Vash quickly said, "Miss, miss." However she ignored him and Vash soon realized what he was doing wrong, "Lucy!" The Lucy looked up and Vash added, "You have to put that out." The Lucy reluctantly threw it out the window but the wind from it hit the hair of the Lucy behind her.  
  
The Lucy next to her sniffed and looked and noticed and said, "L-Lucy your hair!" The Lucy then turned and said, "Oh thank you, you know I couldn't decide. . . ." Before she could finish her hair burst into flames just as the other Lucy yelled, "IT'S ON FIRE!" All the Lucys screamed and tried to put the fire out using their handbags and purses.  
  
"STOP THE BUS!" one of them yelled. "We're not stopping! Just put it out", yelled Vash. One of the Lucys took a jacket and used it to smother the flames. However, even though the flames in that Lucy's hair was out, the jacket was smoking. "THE BATHROOM!" one of them shouted. They all scrambled towards the bathroom and opened it and stuffed the jacket in the toilet. One tried to flush it but water soon started to overflow. To make matters worse, Vash took a very sharp turn and the liquid soap in the bathroom spilled and it's cap hit the sink. The cap fell and the liquid fell into the toilet. Then in place of overflowing water, were suds.  
  
An hour or so later, almost the entire bus was covered in suds and the Lucy's were trying to stay away from it by staying up on their seats. As for Vash, he tried to calm himself down by reminding himself of the two million dollars and kept repeating, "Two Million Dollars", just to keep reassuring himself.

* * *

In the car of That Man, Homer noticed his good son, Bart, was playing a very interesting instrument. "Hey, where did you get that", asked Homer. "I found it under the seat Home-boy." Homer then realized what instrument that was and who it belonged to and said, "Alright boy, give it over!" "Why", asked Bart. "Because that is Ilpalazzo's Guitar and I don't want my boy to play Ilpalazzo's guitar!" "Well, in case you have forgotten, your driving That Man's car homeboy", remarked Bart. "Yes, but that doesn't mean I have to like it", said Homer.  
  
Lisa than popped up with a small pair of glasses. "Hey dad look what I found!" "Where did you find those", asked Homer. "The floor." "Alright Lisa, give me those immediately!"  
  
Suddenly Marge popped up with a wooden dummy with an Ilpalazzo wig on it. "Hey, didn't this belong to Excel", she asked. "Get rid of it, she was Ilpalazzo's ex-girlfriend!" The two struggled over the dummy and the wig fell near the window pane. "Will you get that", asked Marge. "Reach all that way, psfffff, not likely."  
  
(An: I had to do it this way for what's going to happen in the near future. If you have seen Rat Race, you know what I mean.)

* * *

The Burger Mobile was driving at top speed down the highway, avoiding any cars that got in its way. Everything seemed okay, until we take a good look inside the car.  
  
Inside Dexter was getting annoyed. The radio was playing the song "Chain Chain Chain". Excel, however, was singing a different song done by the same group, "Respect." To make it even more annoying, Ed was just joining in by singing his only favorite tune, "I'm a Dude." Finally having enough of this, Dexter turned off the radio, and in response Ed and Excel shutted up.  
  
Excel was looking, around them and then she said, "This is really quick dude! Excel will definitely win this race for Across!" "I know what you mean", said Ed, "This is what I call 'fast' food!" "Fast food", said Excel, "GREAT PUN!"  
  
Dexter suddenly gave a sly look and asked, "Guess what we have back there?" "You just told me, FAST FOOD!" "Well that is partially correct", said Dexter. "Then what is in here", she pointed to a cooler. "It's a heart", said Dexter. Excel, even though she has been in weird situations before, looked surprised. "A heart?" "A human heart", said Ed. "Oh yea", said Dexter, "Some one in El Paso is waiting for this, normally they are put on a plane but the airports closed." "But how did two fast food boys get it", asked Excel. "Well", said Ed, "They would give it to the medical authority, but unfortunately some dude called Vash blew the place up about a week ago and it is still under re-construction, and, since we are headed in that direction to cater and promote Good Burger at this event going on near there, they thought that we should take it. And our boss was extremely generous to take it and give it to us." Ed smiled at the end of that. Dexter than said, "Actually, I was the one taking it, out of charity, Ed just wanted to come along!"  
  
After a brief moment of silence Ed asked, "Want to see it?" Dexter smiled and said, "Yea wanna?" Excel said, "Excel wonders if that is allowed?" "It will just be a quick peek. What could happen", said Dexter. Excel was resistant and then Ed added, "It's a heart dude! It needs fresh air, and we have had locked in that cooler for the last 4 hours." "Well. . . . . OKAY! Excel will see the organ from a deceased ignorant citizen and is about to save the life of another ignorant citizen."  
  
Dexter slowly opened the cooler. Inside, among the ice, is a bag, and Dexter opened the bag and shook its contents out. Its content, as Dexter and Ed said earlier, it was a human heart. Excel marveled at it, "this is the first time I have ever seen a human organ outside of its body!"  
  
Meanwhile up ahead of them, a certain slack-jawed yokel was driving a pickup of junk. Suddenly some of his junk fell of. "Aw dang it. Brenden's gonna kill me", he said. The junk hit the high way and the Burger Mobile drove over it causing a huge bump. The heart flew out of the cooler and onto the floor. Dexter and Ed panicked. Excel said, "Don't worry I will get it." She searched the seats and then said, "I think this is it." "Hey that's were my caramel apple went." And he took it from her.

* * *

Ranma and Naru where, how should I put it, not driving, after a while their truck ran out of gas so the had to push it. They came apon a parked police car, and so, they moved the truck off the road, and Naru took a hose and a gasoline can. The driver, who was a man named, Chief Clancy Wiggum, was oblivious because he was fast asleep.  
  
As they approached the police car, Ranma looked panicky and said, "This is wrong, and Kami-sama is going to smote us both!" "Relax", said Naru, "We're just siphoning gas, we can't get smote for that!" She then opened the gas tank and place one end of the hose in, then she took the other end and started sucking on it. "You know, that is turning me on", said Ranma. Naru looked up and said, "Do you want to join Seta?" "No." "Then don't act like a pervert", said Naru. "You know, my ex-fiancé used to call me that!" After she sucked on it, she put the other end in.  
  
All this while, the noise aroused Wiggum and after a while he awoke. He noticed a little what's happening and stepped out of the car and approached the two. Naru and Ranma noticed this and Ranma turned and acted as if he was taking a wiz.  
  
"Excuse me but, what are you two doing", asked Wiggum. "Oh", said Naru, "He's had about 17 cups of coffee." Wiggum, being the idiot he was said, "Oh yeah, I know that. One time, just to stay awake I had to drink 3 times that amount, and the next morning I had to take a huge. . . . ." He was interrupted when he noticed two certain vehicles pass by. "WHY THOSE INSOLENT." He went into his car and sped off, still with that hose attached.

* * *

Piro and Largo were busy trying to catch up with Zorak, the mantis that stole their key. However they soon heard sirens. They turned and saw Chief Wiggum chasing after them. "Oh crud", said Piro. "Just keep driving", said Largo. The kept driving and Wiggum was hot on their trail, until, he suddenly ran out of gas. "What", said Wiggum, "I just put 75 bucks worth in! Or maybe it was 75 cents."  
  
Back with Piro and Largo, they both noticed Wiggum's car has stopped. "He stopped", said Piro. "That's because he PH3RZ 0UR L33T SK1LLZ", shouted Largo. Piro just shrugged and continued chasing the man-sized praying mantis.  
  
Zorak quickly turned his truck off street and onto a dirt road, where a few dozen balloonists were. Piro and Largo followed suite. No sooner did Zorak stop the car, he quickly grabbed a balloon that was shaped like a Meowth. "Hey, what are you doing", yelled a certain red-headed person with a uniform with an 'R' on her chest. A man with a similar uniform, and with blue hair yelled, "Yeah, that's our balloon, plus it's our job to steal!" "Sorry but I need this, so solong chumps", said Zorak, and he quickly shoved them off and unhitched the rope, just as Piro and Largo were driving up the hill.  
  
The Meowth balloon took off, with just one of the securing lines dangling from it. Piro and Largo went after it in hot persuit. "I'm going to getcha, yelled Largo, "I'm going to getcha you stupid hardware man-tis! PH3R ME!" Meanwhile, Zorak was having trouble with the valve.  
  
Soon the car was close to the line dangling from the balloon. "Alright Largo, you stand on the hood and grab the rope", said Piro. Largo nodded and quickly went over the window and onto the hood. "Ready, grab it", said Piro. Largo lept and slammed face down on the hood. "I can't believe you missed", said Piro. "Piro, stop the car!" yelled Largo. As he said that, Piro quickly set the cruise control and began to get out. His conscience, Seraphim, appeared beside him. "What are you doing? Shouldn't you stop the car for Largo?" "That mantis has our key and he is going to get away with it", replied Largo. Seraphim's eyes widened and yelled, "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO! GO GET THAT #." The Time Traveler popped out of nowhere and yelled, "Watch it, this is a PG-13 Fanfic for crying out loud!" After he vanished Piro grabbed onto the rope and was lifted immediately off the ground.  
  
Piro however, was having a hard time trying to hold on. As for the car it somehow was still following behind. Both vehicles were headed into a field of cows. Now the balloon was starting to lower its altitude, and that was bad news. . . .for Piro. He kept hitting every single cow and eventually he let go of the rope. Then, he noticed the car was headed after him, so he quickly started running. Largo then finally noticed his friend was running in front of the car. "AAAAAAAH", he screamed, "If your running, then who's driving this thing?"  
  
In the car, the cruise control was switched off, and behind the wheel was Seraphim, and next to her was Boo. However, because of her size, Seraphim could not see over the dashboard. "Squeek", said Boo. "No, you winged Ham-Ham, your not driving", said Seraphim.  
  
Eventually Piro caught up to the balloon line and grabbed it and was pulled off the ground, leaving a counsence controlled car, with a crying Largo on the hood.  
  
Zorak finally got the balloon valve working, at the same time a cow got one its back legs in the loop of the rope, and as it was lifted it caused the balloon to tip over and Zorak fell over. He quickly grabbed onto one of the cows back legs. Piro climbed down near him and said, "Give me my key!" "I don't know what your talking about", said Zorak. "Oh yes you do." The both of the them started slapping.each other. Suddenly, unnoticed by both of them, Seraphim appeared on the cow's udder and said, "Alright, time to take matters in my own hands." He grabbed the udder and squirted Zorak in the face with the milk within. Piro knew this was his chance. He reached over into Zorak's belt and he felt around and he pulled out his key. "All right, I got it." He then lost his grip and he fell and he grabbed the two lower legs of the cow to break his fall. Then the cow sneezed on him and he let go in disgust and fell into the lake. He stood up, all covered in weeds. "All well at least I got the key and that's what matters." "You have that right", said Seraphim, "I noticed your little problem so I left the car and came to help you." "Wait a minute", said Piro, "If you were driving the car, then who?" The car came along before Seraphim could answer and the car smashed up against a rock and Largo flew off into the lake. "Excuse, me, I must deal with a little hamster." With that Seraphim vanished.  
  
Largo, stood up in the lake, and he saw Piro. "PIRO", he yelled. He ran up and hugged him. After that he said, "That mantis is getting away", he pointed to the balloon with the cow and mantis dangling from it. "Don't worry, I got the key", said Piro. Largo slapped the water and the two whooped with joy. "ALL RIGHT", said Largo.  
  
That's it for now. I hope you all enjoyed this. Well I appreaciate your patience. Oh by the way, my yards have a problem, THE CICADA'S ARE EVERYWHERE! I AM BEING INVADED! I hope you guys out in Fanfiction.net are putting up with them very well. Oh and on a good note, keep an eye out in the next month or so, for my two upcoming fanfics that I will write in honer of the upcoming, Myst IV: Revelations coming out this Fall. Until then. Ta. Ta. 


	8. The Crazyness of it all enough to lose...

Rat Race...Anime Style

Chapter 7

The Crazyness of it all. . enough to lose your heart!

Authors Moment: Hi yall! I am back! Since my other computers are being used for the moment I thought I take the time and use my new laptop to write a new fanfic chapter. I hope you all like it. And will someone, please read and review Myst Hina! I am going nuts here! Anyway, on with the fanfic.

Vash drove steadily down the road full of Lucy cosplayers. Things seemed to go smoothly, until a Lucy came up and said, "Everything is going fine right?" "Yep, can't go any better", said Vash. "How about a pit stop", asked the Lucy. "Sorry, this is a one-way flight", responded Vash, "There is a bathroom in the back you know." "But the latch is broken", said the Lucy, "Anyone could just come in!" "So, you don't have anything the other Lucys haven't seen", said Vash. The Lucy stared and said in a deep voice, "Not exactly." "GYAAAAAAAAAAH!" said Vash. "Stop screaming", said the Lucy.

Just as she said that they heard a 'moo'. They turned and saw a cow that was hanging from a rope hit the windshield. "AAAAAAAH", screamed everyone. Meanwhile you could hear a voice from above the cow scream, "Help me!" Soon, after Vash made a few twists and turns the cow got of the window, but then, one of the bus' tires hit a spike in the road and Vash had to pull over fast, getting onto a side. After stopping he but his head on the wheel in sadness, but what made it worse was that all the Lucys went, "WAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Minutes later, Vash was outside tending to the tire. One of the Lucy's came out and asked, "What are you doing." Vash groaned and said, "I am fixing the tire now stay on the bus." However the other Lucys started talk things over like, "Your supposed the change the tire every 300 miles", or, "Here let me help you." Vash was driving himself nuts trying to ensure them that he can do it himself. But then some Lucy's started running with another tire nearby. "No wait! That's the spare", yelled Vash. The other Lucy's noticing this started to run after the tire. But by then, the tire had gone so far down the hill, that they couldn't catch up to it. As Vash gave up his chase, he turned and saw the Lucy's where trying to raise the bus, but they ended up raising it too high that it fell over on its side. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH", they all went. Vash turned his head down in disgust.

* * *

The Burger Mobile was sailing fast down the road. Meanwhile, inside, Dexter was having a look of worry, Ed was just smiling, and driving along, and Excel was busy putting the heart back in it's bag. "Hey, look", said Excel, pulling something out of the heart, "All right, a nickel." "Cool", said Ed. "Just put it in the bag", whined Dexter. Excel was trying her hardest to put it in. She tried shacking it some but it flew out of the bag and out the window. Excel gave that look of surprise. "WHY", yelled Dexter. He forced Ed's foot on the breaks hard. "Um, Dexter, you hurt my foot", said Ed.

Soon Ed, Dexter and Excel where busy looking for the heart among all the weeds and shrubs. "We are dead", said Dexter, "We have been given a simple task and we blew it!" "Don't worry reckless citizen that delivers burgers", said Excel, "We will find the heart. Excel knows because Excel has lost her heart many times before!" "Woah", said Ed, "How did you live?" "ED", said Dexter, "She is trying to make a joke to help us to forget how screwed we are!" "Oh", said Ed. "Come on, let's check near the truck", said Dexter.

Suddenly a dog shows up holding a familiar red object. "Oh, hey doggie", said Excel and started patting it. "Dogs are so cute, and they make good meals!" She then took the object from it's mouth. "Oh what's this you got here", asked Excel. "Excel", said Dexter, "We need to find the heart, just get the dog out of here." "Okay", said Excel, "Okay go fetch!" She threw the red object and the dog ran after it. Then Excel noticed blood on her hand, and so did Dexter and Ed. It didn't take genius to find out that the object the dog had, was the heart. They all quickly ran after the dog.

* * *

That Man's car was being drove down the road at a fast rate. Inside, the Simpsons were enjoying the ride. "You know Marge", said Homer, "This really is a neat car." "Sure is", said Marge. "Look at the detailing, you have to admire the handiwork", said Homer. "Yep", said Homer. Then he noticed a cigarette lighter. "Hmmm, I wonder what this is", asked Homer. "I think that is a cigarette lighter", said Marge. "Nyaaah. The Japanese don't smoke", remarked Homer. "Oh yes they do", said Marge. "No they, OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Homer touched it with his finger and burned it. "I told you", said Marge. As Homer held out the burnt finger, it caused him to look like he was making the 'finger' and unfortunately a biker was riding nearby. When Homer noticed this he pulled it in and Marge was trying to explain and when she was showing the finger Homer pointed out it was not helping. Homer then decided to make amends for this by talking to her. "Hey, that is a nice dyke, I mean bike." "Aye Carumba. You really blew it this time home-boy", said Bart. "She's summoning her fellow kinsmen", said Lisa. "Say what", asked Homer. "I mean, SHE IS CALLING THE REST OF HER GANG", yelled Lisa. "Oh, that's wha. . .", then Homer finally realized, "Oh no, their going to attack us!" Maggie hearing this, quickly got out of her car seat and hid underneath the seat.

As Homer said, the whole gang was beginning to bang and dent the car. "Kids, stay down", said Homer, "I don't know how to make it go faster!" Then a few smashes later, Homer said, "Are all of you insane? This is That Man's car." Suddenly the force of banging forced the cigarette lighter, which Homer left on the dashboard, flew right into his mouth, scorching his tongue. Another bash caused Lisa to accidentally let go of the glasses she found earlier, which flew out of her hands on landed a big bulls-eye on Homer's face. Soon, the bike group let up, because the car was about to crash into a auditorium. Homer put the breaks on hard, forcing the wig, that was left near the window, to fall on Homer's head, making him look like Ilpallazzo. "Homer", said Marge in a frightened tone, "Just quickly ask for help and have them call a tow truck!" Homer ran out, and discovered that they have drove onto a stage. Unaware of his new look, he went up to the podium and began talking, but, because of his burnt tongue, he sounded like he was speaking a different language, particularly Japanese. What made the situation worse was that the audience was a bunch of veterans during the war against ACROSS, like Pedro and Antonio. They all gasped at this. Eventually, they started booing him, especially after giving them the 'finger' to show it was burned. One of the crowd members, the well-known and amazingly popular, Nabeshin, took a gun out of his afro and fired at Homer, causing him to run and so did his family panicked.

* * *

Croquet was busily waiting in the room of the hotel. Soon there was a knock. He went to the door and on the other side was a very familiar looking dancer, who was tanned, had white hair, and was wearing a black top and a black bikini like bottom that was connected skin toned liners on her legs. She wore gloves and shoes that had red balls on them. "Miss Caldina, welcome." "Why thank you", said Caldina. "Are you going to let me in or are we going party out here in the hallway." "No, come on in", said Croquet.

"Nice place ya got here", said Caldina. "Oh it is not much, but I call it home", said Croquet, getting nervous. "So, where shall we begin." "Okay", said Croquet, swallowing a lump, "Hear me out first. First we both get naked." "So far so good", said Caldina, who was smiling. "Except we are wearing little sailor hats. Then we get into a Jacuzzi, filled with Pepto-Bismal. And I clip your tonails, and you shave my buttocks. How much would that cost." Caldina was shocked by all this and asked, "Come again." "In summery, naked, Jacuzzi, Pepto-Bismal, toenails, shave my buttocks", said Croquet. "Well", said a concerned Caldina. "Just tell me how much would it cost", said Croquet. "Well", said Caldina, "A party like that would cost about, 35,000 dollars." With that Maximillion Pegasus and his crew got out from their hiding places and Caldina was shocked. "All right, who had 35,000", said Pegasus. "Robotnik got 23,000 so he is the closest one", said Smithers. "Congrats Mr. Robotnik", said Pegasus handing the money over to Robotnik.

* * *

Dexter, Ed, and Excel were hot on the trail of the dog. As for the dog, it was hot itself, for it ran into a electrical fence, were it was killed. After seeing the fried canine, they took the heart from it's mouth. Dexter looked it over. "I think it is okay", said Dexter. Then Excel looked at it and said, "Excel wonders what these little hole things are. Do you think they are caused by being in that dogs mouth?" "No way, it was like that before, right Ed", said Dexter. "Uhh, no", said Ed. "Aggghh", said Dexter, "I can't go to El Paso with this." "Why, we have to", said Ed. "No, the guy is going to be alive for a few minutes then", he impersonated a flat line, then pumping the guy and then the flat line again. The crew stewed for a few minutes. "I got it", said Dexter, "A drifter." "A drifter", asked Excel and Ed. "Yes, we find a drifter, we kill him and cut out his heart. He won't be missed at all", said Dexter. "Okay, Excel is starting to get freaked out", said Excel. "Dude, you got a point! We will be fine", said Ed. "But where are we going to find a. . .", Dexter stopped in mid-sentence and noticed Excel. "Excel, where are you from", asked Dexter. "Dude, we need to find a drifter", said Ed. "Me, Excel is from F City, F Prefecture of Japan", said Excel. "Your family is back there right", asked Dexter. "No, both of my parents have died, long ago", said Excel. "Any family of any kind", asked Dexter. "No, I have only the secret organization of ACROSS." Dexter smiled, "ACROSS eh." "Yes, why. . .", then Excel noticed the look in Dexter's eyes. Pointing behind Dexter and Ed she yelled, "Look Excel sees a drifter now! Let's kill him!" With that she ran off. Ed looked and said, "I don't see em." Dexter groaned and said, "She tricked us let's get her!" "Oh, okay", said Ed. The two ran after Excel who was nearing train tracks, and a train just speeded past and Excel leapt through one of the windows of it.

Dexter groaned and defeat and walked over to the fence. Ed followed, he said, "Hey, cheer up Dex, at least we didn't kill her." And he slapped him on the back causing Dexter to hit the fence. He was sizziling a bit and Ed said, "Oh, don't worry I got ya." He pulled Dexter from the fence and Dexter turned to scold him when Ed pointed to the heart in his hand. "Dude, look, the heart." Dexter looked at the heart. To his amazement it was beating. With a smile of relief on his face he hugged Ed and said, "Thank you Ed!" and ran towards the Burger Mobile. "Dude, wait for me", said Ed running after him.

To be continued. . . .

Okay guys. I am sorry if I did a bad job at it, but I hope all of you enjoy it all the same. Until next time, see you in the future.


	9. Rocket cars, rocket cars, rocket cars!

Rat Race. . . . Anime Style!

Chapter 8

Rocket cars, rocket cars, rocket cars!

Authors moment: Sorry for the major delay people. I have been extremely busy with with college work. But know that I am on my break I can finally continue working on my fanfics. I hope you all enjoy this.

The desert is a long and vacant patch of earth. That is until we notice a gas station, with a pickup truck parked in front of it. Nearby was the owner of the station and the people who own/stole the truck, Ranma Saotome and Naru Narusegawa.

"Look here miss", said the owner, "you are not going anywhere due to this crack in your radiator." Then pointing to the radiator he said, "That is this tank in front of the engine that. . ." "I KNOW WHAT A (BLEEP)ING RADIATOR IS", yelled Naru. Ranma glared at her and then asked, "Can we rent a car somewhere?" "Sure", said the owner, "in Albuquerque! HA HA!"

An annoyed Naru finally said, "Then all we can do is patch it." "With what", said the owner. "Sand and tire sealent. When mixed they form a adhesive, that should last for a few hours." "That should work", said Ranma, "We only have a few miles left to go."

The owner, who was looking exasperated said, "Look, we don't have any sand." "YES WE DO YOU BAKA!" yelled Naru. "IN CASE YOU HAVE NOT NOTICED WE ARE IN THE DESSERT!" The owner just sighed in defeat.

* * *

In the long dessert area where two certain women, or should I say goddesses. For immortals though, they were certainly not looking so hot. They looked as if though they may collapse at any minute. "We should have bought a comic", said Belldandy. "We really should have", replied Skuld.

They trudged on, but then, they noticed a bunch of tents in the distance. They started to head towards them.

The guy in charge of the refreshments there, noticed the two goddesses heading his way. As they entered the tent, he looked shocked. "Oh my gosh! What happened? Car trouble!" "You might say that", said Skuld as she and Belldandy took some drinks and sat down. "You two look exhausted, here have something to drink", said the guy.

As they were enjoying their beverages, Skuld noticed some activity going behind the curtains. "What's going on over there", asked Skuld. "Oh some scientist from Springfield is trying to break the landspeed record, he even hired this motor club from Nekomi Tech in Japan to assist."Skuld got an idea.

* * *

"So as you can see from my (glehOEvn) work, this new vehicle will break the landspeed record", said Scientist Prof. John Frink, who was standing on a podium in front of the rocket car. "And the one to be driving this car, with the zooming, and the speeding and the ROARING of the engines, will be Nekomi Tech's very own, Keichi Morisato." With that Keichi went up to the podium. "Uh, thank you Professor Frink", said Keichi, "Now, as he mentioned, today we hope to break the normal landspeed record. . ." "KEICHI!" yelled a familiar voice and later he was found hugged by one very familiar goddess, later to be seen by a another familiar face. "I can't believe I am saying this but I am so glad to see you", said the goddess glomping him. "Skuld", said a shocked Keichi, and then looking up to see the smiling face of Belldandy. "Bell! I knew you came to America to find Skuld but what are you two doing here." "Oh, you see, we are in a race for 2 mil. . ." Suddenly the truth-prone Belldandy was hushed by the clamping hand of her younger sister. "Let me explain", said Skuld. She quickly whispered the details in Keichi's ear, and since Keichi knew that Goddesses can't lie, he went, "WOW! That much!" Skuld nodded. "Well, what can I do to help." "If it isn't too much trouble we want to borrow the rocket car." Keichi thought this for a moment. "Okay, besides, I don't want to risk going that fast anyway." "Oh goody", said Belldandy. The two quickly ran to the rocket car. "Um Morisato-san, what in the (blem haven) is going on here." "Uh, don't worry, Prof. Frink, just a few changes", said Morisato, as he let Belldandy and Skuld help themselves to the car. As the two where settling inside the car, Keichi and Frink where in the middle of a discussion of the matter, when Skuld yelled, "Hey how do you start it?" "Just pull the green lever for (phluovens) sake", yelled Frink. Before Frink realized what he just said, Skuld pulled the lever and the car took off like a shot. (AN: I am aware of what really happened in Rat Race, but I doubt that Belldandy is the type of person that would take something without asking, I mean she is a goddess).

* * *

Inside the car, Belldandy and Skuld were having a rough time coping with the intense speed. It felt like their brains would be pushed to the backs of their heads. Skuld looked at the speedometer and noticed it kept moving up and up at a fast rate. Her eyes bugged out at this.

* * *

"740! 745!" said Prof. Frink measuring the speed on the car. "That's a record!" said Keichi. "There going to break the sound barrier, with roaring and the blasting and, over big sound wave.

* * *

The owner of the gas station put the hood down on the truck and turned to Naru and Ranma. "I still don't think it will hold." "It will do", said Naru. Ranma took out his wallet. "How much do we owe you?" "About five-hundred bucks", replied the owner.

Naru looked shocked. "For two quarts of tire sealent! That's twenty, tops!" She grabbed Ranma's wallet and took out some money and shoved it in the owners vest. "Here, this is forty, double what it is worth." Turning to Ranma she added, "Let's go Ranma."

However as they turned to go the owner took out a gun and said, "Hold it." The two turned and saw the gun he was holding. Even though they both could take him out, they knew better than to mess with someone who was armed. "Now hold on there", said Ranma. Pointing to his gun, the owner laughed and said, "Another tool no mechanic should be without." Groaning Ranma reached into his wallet and fetched the appropriate amount. "Fine, but remember what goes around comes around", said Ranma as he handed the owner the money. "Yeah, this is so Un-Christian", yelled Naru.

The owner just laughed at Naru's remark and said, "Well if the good Lord don't like how I do business, let him say something! Let him give me a sign." Then looking up to the sky he yelled, "Oh Lord! I'm here, and I'm listening! Hello?" As he laughed at this, Ranma and Naru got in the truck and left, at the same time, a rocket car, who just broke the sound barrier zoomed by and due to the sonic boom, it caused the old gas station to crumble apart. The owner got so caught of his guard that he accidently fired his gun in the direction of the car.

* * *

"Well (gluhuevon)", yelled Prof. Frink, "MACH 1!" "WELL DONE FRINK", said Keichi. With that the two celebrated.

* * *

Inside the rocket car, Belldandy and Skuld noticed a bullet zooming right with them. Belldandy gasped and Skuld looked impressed that they were going as fast as a speeding bullet.

* * *

Inside a mini-mall, the Simpsons have finally gotten away from the anti-ACROSS squad. Marge was reassuring that everyone was okay. Homer was still a little shooken up after what happened. Bart decided to ease his nerves by pointing out to a nearby miles sign. "Look Dad! Silver City is only 10 more miles away." "Oooh", went Homer, and he looked out the window at it. "Great mother of mercy, soon that money will be mine." "Homer, exnay on the oneymay", said Bart.

Marge's eyes narrowed on Homer, "What money?" Homer, realizing his mistake said, "Oh, nothing, just thinking about the money I will get from my new job." Marge looked at Homer and said, "Homer is there something you and Bart are not telling us?" "No, no nothing", said Homer. Marge still glowered at him. Homer finally broke down and said, "Okay I admit. There is no job. The real reason we are going to Silver City was that I was chosen for this race made by Maximillion Pegasus. He hid 2 million bucks in a locker in a train station at the city, and I want to get my hands on it." With that he started crying. "Aye Carumba", said Bart. "Ah ha, I knew something was up", said Lisa.

* * *

The rocket car had finally run out of gas, but the stopping procedure was slow, and unfortunately, for the goddesses inside, it was shaky.

Eventually the car stopped, and of course the goddesses got out of the car, but due to the shaky stop, they had a hard time maintaining their stability, plus they were dizzy and disoriented.

Nearby was a school bus, being used to transport crazy people. The attendant was telling them it was time to return and to get on the bus. She then noticed Belldandy and Skuld wobbling about and began to usher them back on the bus. "Back on the bus. We don't want to miss dinner it's macaroni night!" Belldandy in her dazed state, said, "Nice to meet you. We came on a rocket car." "Oh, a rocket car", said the attendant, "Let's hear all about it on the bus."

All right this is where I will leave off for now. But wait until next time. I will try to get the next chapter up within the next week.


	10. The Home Stretch

Rat Race. . . Anime Style!

Chapter 9

The Home Stretch

At the Mini-mall, in a certain booth, a certain bald fat man by the name of Homer Simpson was trying to convince his family to continue the hard road ahead. "Please, oh please oh please", said Homer to his wife. "No. We have been through enough thanks to this ridiculous race! Plus you have lied to us!" "But Mom", said Bart, "it's two million big ones! That is more than enough to send Lisa to college, have all of us set for life!" "Sorry Bart, but I with Mom on this one. No prize money is worth the hassle and degradation we have seen thus far." Homer once again got stunned by Lisa's wisdom. "Okay, I know I almost got us killed. Excuse me for a moment."

Homer left the table and headed for a separate store area. He then threw a major fit. Until he noticed a rack holding different medications and found something that will save him, a box of sleeping pills.

Homer approached his family with a couple of glasses of chocolate shakes. "Hey ya'll. To prove there is no hard feelings", he set the glasses down and said, "chocolate shakes all around." The family cheered at this." "This means you are not mad at us", asked Lisa. "I am a bit upset but hey, I am an adult. So let's drink up these shakes, return the ACROSS-mobile, get the van fixed and go back to Vegas and See Penn and Teller!" The Simpsons nodded their heads as they started sipping the shakes. Bart couldn't help but notice his father winking at him.

* * *

Back at the bus scene, the Lucys were trying to comfort a disgruntled gunmen as he was sitting in front of the tipped over bus. "Aw don't worry Vash", said one Lucy. "We won't let them fire you", said another. "I am no bus driver", said Vash.

"Don't say that", said another Lucy. "No", said Vash, "I am not a bus driver." "Don't be so hard on yourself", said one Lucy. Then one Lucy came out of the crowd and yelled, "Hey ladies, who's the world's greatest bus driver?" "Va-ash, Va-ash", they chanted.

Vash tried to get through to tell them, but their chanting drowned him out, and they didn't pay any attention. Finally getting fed up with the cheering, Vash yelled, "Shut Up! SHUT UP YOU CRAZY LUCY BITCHES! SHUT UP!" After the Lucys stopped their cheering in shock, Vash continued yelling at them. "I AM NOT, A BUS DRIVER! I DO NOT WORK FOR THE BUS COMPANY!" Everyone looked at him in shock. "I needed a ride to New Mexico! SO I STOLE THIS UNIFORM! He tore of the jacket and said, "THIS JACKET IS NOT MY JACKET! REMEMBER MARTY! YOUR ORIGINAL BUS DRIVER!?" He tore of the shirt and yelled, "THIS IS HIS SHIRT! I STOLE IT!" He began tearing off his pants and yelled, "SEE THESE PANTS! YOU THINK I'D WHERE THESE PANTS!" He panted for breath and said, "I am not. . . a bus driver!

The Lucys finally gathered what he said and the head Lucy said, "Your not a real, bus driver?" "You tricked us", yelled another. "He ruined our whole vacation", yelled an asian Lucy cosplayer. The entire bunch of Lucys started running after the man who is now only in a under shirt and boxers. Vash knew well enough to start running.

A message from the one and only Time Traveler:

I know this chapter is short, but to keep the fic organized

I have to end it here, so tata reader girls and guys!

(Got this idea from The Wiz)


	11. The Final Lap!

Rat Race. . . Anime Style

Chapter 10

The Final Lap!

I have been itching to continue this for a while now. But I wanted to do a different fanfic. Right now I have a bit of writers block for the big fight scene, how to organize it out. Anyway, enjoy this chapter.

Back the hotel, Waylen Smithers was looking at the map of the 'racers' with Pegasus. "Here they come", said Smithers, "They're almost in 50 yards!" "See it's the final lap", said Pegasus. He then called Kroquet. "Croquet, the airport is now back online, so I want you to take the Lear jet, head to Silver City, and give us a play by play from the 'finish line'. Croquet nodded and left. All the while, the other hand, Pegasus' guests were betting to see which of the maids hanging from the curtains would hang on the longest. After the second to last one fell, there was a cheer from some of them.

* * *

Vash had somehow managed to lose those Lucys, after hiding in a grassy ditch to get away from them. He then sat up, and saw a sign. It said, **SILVER CITY 15 MILES**. Vash gasped at how close he was. Then he started wondering how the heck he was going to get there. Then he noticed a farm right near the ditch. It had a horse and nearby was a scarecrow with his type of clothes (courtesy of myself of course!).

* * *

Homer looked over his now sleeping family, excluding Bart. "Wow, excellent plan Homer", said Bart. "Well let's go back to Vegas, heh, heh", said Homer.

However, his brief moment of cheerfulness was shattered when Bart said, "Um, Home-boy, I hate to rain on your parade but, we have Neo-Acrossians in the parking lot, and they are looking over the car." "Aaaah", screamed Homer, "What are we going to do, theyaregoingtogetmeandwithmyentirefamilysleepingandlosingtherace IN ONE BLOW!" "Actually Homer, I do have an idea", said Bart.

* * *

Soon, Bart and Homer had the now sleeping Marge and Lisa ushered into a nearby cab of a rig (you know one of those cab trucks that haul huge loads). The rig driver looked at his passengers and said, "Um, I don't think I have that much room." "Don't worry", said Homer bringing up Maggie, "This one is little." "By the way thanks for letting us ride", said Bart. "No problem for a fellow truck driver" (A little reference to one Simpsons episode).

* * *

Piro and Largo were busy driving alone. Suddenly Piro saw a sign that said, **Silver City 28 Miles**. "LARGO, look", shouted Piro. "Silver City, 1337! D4 1/1011j i$ 0UR$", shouted Largo. The two high fived each other and headed on towards their destination.

As they drove along, another car pulled up along side them. The person driving it was a female robot called Ropponmatsu, and in the passenger seat, was woman called Misaki Mitsuya. Unfortunatly though, Largo noticed Misaki. "Hey good looking! Wanna ride with D4 1337 master", said Largo. "What's that supposed to mean", asked Misaki. "Something wrong miss", asked Ropponmatsu. "Nothing, just a idiotic geek, keep driving", said Misaki. Then she pulled out a small gun no bigger than a squirt gun (as seen in Excel Saga Episode # 6, The Cold is Winter). "Good thing I brought this in case we met any moochers." With that she pointed it at one of Largo's tires and fired. "Gyaaah", yelled Largo as the car shot into the air with a super blast of an explosion. "What did you do now", asked Piro. "I was just ogling a girl with a laser pistol", yelled Largo. "Once this is over, I will always have you tied up in the trunk", said Piro. Seraphim suddenly appeared and said to Piro, "I think you should be more concerned about where you are landing." She was pointing downwards.

The car landed with a thud in a arena, IN A LINE OF CARS ABOUT TO BE SMASHED BY A BIGFOOT! Piro noticed the Bigfoot starting up. "Uh, Largo, I suggest we panic and fumble our way out of the car right now", he said. "Why", asked Largo. Piro pointed to the Bigfoot speeding up the ramp and said, "That's why." They both screamed as the Bigfoot was in the air. They began scrambling to get out of the car, on the same door, the passenger side door.

After struggling with each other a bit they got out, just in time before the Bigfoot smashed on top of it. A few minutes later, the driver and a few pit crew members came running out to the now smashed car, yelling about the two people in it. However, when they got to it, Piro and Largo were gone. "Where did they go", asked the driver. His question was answered when he saw Piro and Largo make off with his truck. Largo drove right out through the stadium wall, and over most of the cars in the parking lot. While Largo was laughing, Piro said, "This has lawsuit written all over it."

* * *

The train was zooming along the tracks. Inside, Excel was just looking at all the telephone poles flashing by her window. She soon settled back into her seat. Suddenly she heard the announcer say, "Silver City. Next stop, Silver City." "Silver City did he say." Then leaping up with the key in hand she yelled, "Soon Illpalazzo, I, Excel will soon win, and provide plenty of funds for both myself and the good will of ACROSS' city domination plan! With this key, and this train approaching the city at high speeds which is unknown to Excel, but who cares, Excel will soon have the $2 million dollars! HAIL ILLPALAZZO!" With she did her salute which unfortunately flung over her head and on to some random persons head, waking that person up. "Uggh", said the guy, "Did I miss my stop?" The key slipped into his shirt pocket. He soon turned to see a rampaging Excel. "HEY YOU GIVE ME THAT KEY YOU LOATHING PIECE OF THE IGNORANT MASSES!" "I don't know what you are talking about", shouted the guy. "Oh yes you do", he said grabbing the guy. "NOW HAND IT OVER. . ."

As the train heads off towards it's next destination, with the commotion on board, it passes by a certain man-sized mantis, and a certain cow, hanging from a certain balloon. "Wait, come back", yelled the mantis, as the train passed by, "Don't leave me!" Below the cow just mooed.

Sorry it took so long folks, but I have been busy with another fanfic, and I was having trouble with that scene with Piro and Largo (I have been trying to find the right girl for that scene). Also, I was busy finishing up the semester. Don't worry though the next chapter is up here too. SO HIT NEXT!


	12. The Finish Line!

Rat Race. . . Anime Style

Chapter 11: THE FINISH LINE!

As I said, everyone, the next chapter is here! SO ENJOY IT EVERYONE!

Vash was busy riding the horse he, 'borrowed'. "Come on boy, GEDDYUP", he shouted, although the horse was showing no signs of speeding up. But he had a reason for speed because approaching him was a sign that said: **WELCOME TO SILVER CITY Home of the 1860 Gold Rush**.

As Vash approached the city, he noticed a pickup, that was overheating, had paint splattered over it's top and had some of it's glass shattered, approaching from behind but took no notice of it.

* * *

Inside the truck, Ranma and Naru were pleading to the truck, "Come baby, just one more mile!" They took no notice of the rig approaching behind them.

* * *

Inside the rig, Marge had just snapped out of her drug induced sleep and was eying the truck driver sleepily. "Homey", she asked in a daze. "Hey Marge, how did ya sleep", said Homer, riding in the passengers seat. Bart was behind him. "Alright, we are almost there", he said.

* * *

The Bigfoot truck was hurtling towards Silver City. However, they ended up behind a line of a broken down truck, a horse, and a rig. "Come on Largo pass them", yelled Piro. "I can't we are too big", yelled Largo.

* * *

Inside the rig, Homer noticed what Bart just pointed out. "YOU WERE RIGHT BOY!" Then yelling with his hands cupped he yelled, "MOVE!"

"They stopped", said Burns, looking at the tracking board. "No", said Pegasus. He pushed a button on a remote which zoomed in closer on Silver City. The lines, showing the 'racers' moved in towards it. "See they're moving." All of his guests sighed in relief.

* * *

Vash was still riding the horse, after moving into the city with the unknown line behind him, he reached downtown. He then noticed a huge building, that had the words, **SILVER CITY TRAIN STATION** on top of it. He gasped at how close he was. He quickly jumped off the horse. As he did, Piro and Largo looked out the passenger window of the Bigfoot and saw where he was heading. Homer did the same inside the rig.

When Vash started running towards, so did Ranma, Naru, Piro, Largo and Homer (who now had his family, including Lisa and Marge cheering him on) did so as well.

* * *

"Daisy, Daisy", sang the crazy people. In one of the seats, Belldandy and Skuld awoke from their dazed slumber. They looked out one window and saw the other 'racers' running towards their direction. Wondering where they were running too they looked to the window opposite their seat, and saw the train station. Realizing the situation, they came to their senses and starting running towards the front of the bus, yelling, "STOP THE BUS!" As soon as the bus stopped and when they reached the front the attendant went in front of them and said, "Woah! Ladies, ladies, ladies, you know the rules. . ." "WE ARE NOT CRAZY LADY", yelled Skuld. "Yes", said Belldandy, "We are in this race, we should have bought a comic and we didn't buy one from that guy on the road and we crashed." "Which is why we borrowed the rocket car", said Skuld then she pulled out her hammer, "AND IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR, I AM GOING TO CRUSH YOUR HEAD IN!" The attendant did nothing, so Skuld hit her head hard enough to nock her out. "NOW OPEN THIS DOOR DRIVER OR YOU ARE NEXT", yelled Skuld. "Yes ma'am", he whimpered. "Thanks", said Belldandy sweetly, "And have a nice day." "Come on sis", said Skuld, "Let's go!" With that she tugged Belldandy along.

They joined the rest of the racers, who are now running frantically towards the station."

* * *

Inside the station, in the lobby, Croquet was playing around with his cell phone while waiting for the winner to arrive. Next to him was door leading to a bunch of lockers and of course one of those lockers was Locker 001, the one holding the cash prize!

Soon, Croquet's attention was drawn to the train now pulling in. The conductor was holding a frantic Excel and was throwing her out. Kroquet quickly pulled out the cellphone and said, "It's Excel. Excel Excel, on a train that just rolled into the station.

* * *

Pegasus and his guests were listening on the speakerphone. And everyone cheered in impressiveness. Bowser and Geovanni shook hands knowing it was their bet. Illpalazzo just shrugged and grinned. "Well what you know, the wasteful energetic girl that gets killed managed to pull it off! You got to love a long shot", said a smiling and laughing Pegasus.

* * *

The other 'racers' were now neck in neck and shoving and pushing at each other to be the first to get to the train station.

* * *

Excel entered the train station, key in hand. "This is it. I am about to do it Illpalazzo", she said. "Here she comes", says Croquet. "Oh it's you the ingnorant millionaires ignorant assatant", said Excel. "She's holding the key", said Croquet. Excel then noticed the lockers and ran towards them. "And she's going to the locker!" Excel inserted her key into locker 001.

* * *

Outside the window where the lockers were, a robber was just getting off the train after a quick heist, thanks to the costumed girl making a huge distraction. In his trigger happy celebration a stray bullet went through an open window and hit someone opening a locker. "Oops! Better get out of here", he said and ran off.

* * *

Croquet walked towards Excel and said, "Excel, well done and Congratulations, on behalf of Maximillion Pegasus, The owner of Industrial Illusions and the promotional hotel and casino, I would like to . . ." He was cut off when he noticed Excel had her eyes rolled up and her neck was bleeding with a bullet in it.

* * *

Pegasus and his guests listened impatiently to the now silent speakerphone. "Croquet is it over", asked Pegasus.

* * *

The racers were still running towards the station. When they reached the door the crew struggled to get in. They finally got the door opened and they all ran in and towards the lockers where they all just stopped, gasped and stared at the form of Excel, who was standing there with the key in the locker. The group groaned a bit in defeat when Largo noticed the bullet wound and her eyes were rolled back. "She's dead!" The crew got it's pep back again, shoved Excel and her key out of the locker and they all began trying to get their keys into the locker, eventually, it was Piro who got his key in first and opened it to receive his reward which was . . .

. . . an empty locker. Everyone gasped at this. Behind them the Great Will of the Macrocosm just finished reviving Excel and ran out the door. Excel stood up and asked, "Did I win?"

Okay, I have been waiting to write this part for so long. Don't worry, I am now pumped to write the next chapters soon! Until then adios!


	13. Where's the Money?

Rat Race . . . Anime Style!

Chapter 11: Where's the Money?

Croquet was having a tug-o-war with Caldina, over the red duffle, containing $ 2 million in cash. "Caldina", he said, "You let go of this bag right now or otherwise I will report you to the escort service!" He held up the cell phone to prove he was not kidding.

* * *

Pegasus and his crew who were still listening to the action on the speaker phone were beginning to wonder what was going on. "Croquet, what is going on", asked Pegasus. "The hooker! The hooker is taking the money", yelled Croquet over the phone. "What hooker", asked Pegasus. "Caldina, FROM THE HOTEL!" The guests and Pegasus pondered this for a minute until Tronne Bonne yelled, "Pepto Bismal?" They then realized what that meant. "What the heck is she doing there", asked Pegasus. "I took her with me", said Croquet. "I am sorry, she said she liked me, but I am beginning to think, she was only interested in the money!"

* * *

The whole 'racers' came out of the station in defeat but Vash soon saw Caldina and Croquet with the money. "THERE IT IS LET'S GET IT!" The 'racers' began running after them.

Realizing the situation Caldina kissed Croquet and said, "Come with me." All Croquet responded with was, "I'm driving!" With that, the hooker, the assistant, got into the convertable they used to get there, and placed the duffel into the back seat.

Croquet revved the engine and tore out of the parking lot just as the 'racers' came near them and shouting at them. As the two drove away, she just blew them a sly kiss, waved and said, "Sa long ya suckers!" Croquet and Caldina high fived each other, and laughed. However they soon heard a 'moo', looking up they saw Zorak's balloon come down. The cow landed first in the car, on top of Caldina and Croquet, while Zorak landed in the back and had to hold on to the back.

* * *

Meanwhile the 'racers' saw the situation was perfect to catch up. Marge, Lisa, Maggie and Bart ran up to Homer. "Did you win", asked Bart. "No, those crooks stole it." "WELL LET'S GO GET THEM", yelled Marge. "I have the solution", said Ranma pointing to a double decker bus. The crew ran to the bus. "You want to steal a bus", asked Naru. "Oh yes I do", said Ranma. "Oh by Kami-sama what have I done", said Naru. "Whatever the idea is 1337", said Largo.

* * *

Meanwhile, Croquet and Caldina struggled with the cow and Zorak struggled to get on board the car. Croquet managed to force the cow behind him onto his seat. "That thing has a mind of its own", he said. As he said that, Zorak managed to climb into the back and noticed the red duffle, and something told him it was what he was after.

* * *

Vash sat behind the wheel of the double decker, driving like he never drove before. On the top deck, the rest of the 'racers' (including the rest of the Simpson family) where yelling and pointing out where he should go.

* * *

Croquet was fighting Zorak to get the money back from Zorak. "Sorry, finders keepers pal!" said Zorak. "No, it's mine", yelled Croquet. Zorak quickly tied the handle of the red duffle to the line of the balloon.

* * *

"I SEE THEM", yelled Vash as he tore the bus after them.

* * *

Zorak cut the rope that was still hanging off the cow's leg for the cow was weighing the balloon down. He cut it, and was about to grab onto the balloon when Croquet grabbed him and pulled him down forcing him to let go of the line. The balloon lifted off, with the duffle bag still attached to it.

Croquet groaned in defeat as did Zorak. Suddenly they heard beeping and such. Croquet and Zorak turned, and suddenly Zorak, Croquet, Caldina and the cow sitting behind the drivers wheel screamed.

* * *

Pegasus and his guests heard the car Croquet was in, crash. "That's it", said Dr. Eggman, "It's a scratch, no one wins." Everyone began arguing in displeasure when Pegasus interrupted them.

"I will tell you what this means", said Pegasus, "This means we are going into extra innings." He pushed the intercom and said, "Clarice, have my other Lear ready!" He turned to another one of his assistants and said, "Bob, stay here, keep your eye on the board. Tell us where they are headed." Then turning to his guests he said, "Gentlemen, grab your drinks because we are going to Silver City."

* * *

A few minutes later, Pegasus and his guests were in Pegasus' Lear jet, who was, at the moment, flying unsteadily.

Inside, some of the guests were getting sick. Finally Eggman, who couldn't take it anymore, hurled inside a barf bag. "Is that it", asked the flight attendant. "That's it", said Pegasus. "Thank the pilot and tell him to level off." The attendant unsteadily began to trek to the cockpit. "Now who had Dr. Eggman", asked Pegasus. "That would be me", said Illpalazzo, and he went forward to Pegasus to collect his winnings.

Okay guys, next time we are coming down to the wire! Until then, keep those reviews coming!


	14. Comming Down to the Wire

Rat Race. . . Anime Style

Chapter 13: Coming Down to the Wire

Okay everyone, this technically is the last Chapter, but I have added on to the ending to this fanfic. What happens in it, you'll see.

The whole group on the double-decker was chasing after the balloon with the red duffle bag containing 2 million dollars, which was dangling from a line from the balloon. The sun of course was setting, as the day was finally turning into night.

They chased the dollars to a wooded area of Silver City. The balloon was finally coming down behind a fenced in area. "Look there it is", yelled Marge, "It's coming down!" The whole group continued to clamor as Vash drove the bus through a field where a bunch of cars were parked, and over to the area that was fenced in.

They drove through the fence, and through an area that looked like it was a backstage, of course some one who was holding a clip board jumped out of the way when he saw the bus coming. The bus stopped after going through a curtain area. The 'racers' quickly got off the bus. They all started looking for the red duffle.

Homer was the first to spot it, it was dangling from it's line on the balloon, right on the other side of a partially opened curtain. They all ran towards it.

As they got near it they all jumped in attempt to get the duffle down. They all managed to get the bag down. They tore into it and took out stacks of dollar bills. They all cheered with joy. But just as they did, a bunch of lights came on with a guitar solo. They were actually on a stage with huge screen in the background and some band was nearby. They all turned towards the back of the stage towards the sound of the guitar solo. Also to the crowd that was for some reason or other, cheering.

"Now that is one heck of an enterance", said a guy on the microphone coming up to them. "Aye Carumba! It's SmashMouth", said Bart (AN: Which of course I don't own.) The head SM guy came up to the center of the 'racers' and looked at the red duffle bag. "What is this", he asked. After looking over the money they have he asked, "Jeez, how much money is this?" "Oh, well, it's just two million dollars", said Belldandy. "TWO, TWO MILLION! TWO MILLION DOLLARS EVERYBODY", yelled SmashMouth to the audience, who applauded.

The guy then turned the mic over to Excel who said, "Well, I Excel supreme follower of ACROSS, and these other ignorant masses talked it over on the bus and we came to a huge decision to share all of the money!" The crowd cheered as the SmashMouth guy yelled at the audience, "THEY'RE GONNA SHARE ALL THE MONEY EVERYBODY! AWW MAN!"

One of the other band members then said, "Lets get these guys some jackets." The lead singer agreed and he and a bunch of stage hands brought up jackets for all of them. "So are you a organization or something", asked the lead singer after they got the jackets on. "No", said Vash, "We just met, well, this morning." "THEY JUST MET THIS MORNING", shouted the lead singer. Ranma then got up in front and said, "I originally didn't want to come along, but, then I met Naru, and well, good things happen all at once!" The crowd cheered. "This is beautiful man, this is beautiful", said the lead singer, "Great things happen, out of nowhere", he finished.

Meanwhile at the same time a limo was beginning to pull up to the stadium.

"Feed the Earth Baby, Feed the Earth", said the lead singer, "We're gonna check the tote board right now and see where we are at. Okay?" The audience cheered their approval. The turning his gaze up to a light number board, he said, "Come on baby. Let it roll. Come on." You see, the group accidently have come on a fund raiser for a organization called 'Feed the Earth.' The group finally realized what they just did, when they gazed up at the tote board, which at the top read, "Feed the Earth", and at the bottom it read, "Total Donations". In the center was the numbers reading the total donations, at first it was reading, "$ 9,526", then it changed to read, "$2,009,526."

"NO!" went all the 'racers', who were upset that they were going to lose it all after everything they went through. They started talking to the lead singer to get him to understand. Soon a guard came on stage with a sack to collect the money, but they refused to give it up. But then suddenly an old man and woman came on stage. "Excuse me he said, "We work for 'Feed the Earth' and these are some of our 'children'. Nearby one or two Hispanic children came nearby, wearing 'Feed the Earth" T-shirts. The crowd continued roaring their approval. Vash and Largo just looked astounded at the children. "Idon't know who you people are, or where you come from", continued the man, "But God Bless You." Skuld just grimaced, especially since she is a goddess, and started thinking what, 'He' might be thinking of her right now. Homer just frowned, not sadness for losing the money, but at his own selfish ends. "Why you have given these kids, and their brothers and sisters all over the world, more than money", the guy continued, "you have given back their faith in the goodness of people. As he said this Ranma, just shrugged sadly, Vash gave a sad look, as did Marge. Piro, looked on with a sad expression while Largo just grinned silly. Naru just shook her head sadly.

The man then held the microphone to one of the children which said something in Spanish. The old woman then said, "She said, 'you are just like the twelve disciples'." As Homer's looked saddened many of the other 'racers' including Excel awed at that remark. "Thank you", said another one of the children. The 'racers' just couldn't help but adore at the children, and while some smiled the others frowned at their own greed. And of course Seraphim and Boo were also beginning to think realize, they were being bad conciousess. "Somewhere Asmoudious is laughing at me" (I am referring to that punk bad conciouss that trys to make the moves on Seraphim and calls her 'Miss Prissy Wings'. I hope I got the name right).

At that point the 'racers' knew what they must do. One by one, they placed each of their shares of the $2 million in the bag. Each with an excited "yes" and a jump and such. However when it got to Piro and Largo, Piro said, "Listen, these guys can do whatever they want with their shares, but our shares are coming with us." Largo nodded but as he did, a familiar red-head came on the stage, it was Misaki. "It's you", said Largo. "You know, I thought you were a jerk, but know I see, that you really do care. I apologize for what I did back on the road back there", said Misaki. Largo was impressed by those words she said. Then he realized, being a true 1337 master is more than being a master at electronics and protecting the world through violence, but also means doing the right thing by contributing to it. With that thought in mind, he placed his money in the bad and yelled, "1337! FEED THE EARTH IS 1337!" Many 1337 speakers in the audience roared this approval. He then gesutured Piro to do the same. Piro still refused. Suddenly, Seraphim appeared beside him and said, "Listen pal, I admit you went through a lot to get this, but these children need it more than you do for simple things that you can get, and they can't! If you do this, I promise you it will be worth a lot more even if that poor excuse of an assistant didn't make off with the money with that hooker." Well Piro suddenly felt sickened by his own attitude. So he did what he had to do, he put his whole share into the bag. As the crowd cheered, he felt a lot happier. "YES", he yelled.

As he yelled that, Maximillion Pegasus and his guests appeared backstage on the right side, opposite to where the 'racers' came. They looked around, curious at what is going on. Ranma noticed this, and figured it was the perfect time to get some revenge. He grabbed the microphone from the lead singer and said, "Excuse me Ladies and Gentlemen. I would like to introduce the real star of the show. I can honestly say that none of us would be here if it weren't for this man. The owner of Industrial Illusions, and the creater of the game Duel Monsters, the man with the plan, MR. MAXIMILLION PEGASUS!" When he said Pegasus' name, he pointed right where he was. Pegasus, go stunned when a spotlight was shown on him. "One of the most wealthiest men in the world", continued Ranma, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Maximillion Pegasus!" "You Are The Man", said the lead singer. All Pegasus could do was just smile and wave, especially when Ranma requested that a camera be placed on him. The audience and even the 'racers' applauded.

"These men", said Ranma, "They didn't have to be here tonight. No they could be kicking back in the Rivera, or in Vegas blowing there money on some meaningless idotic bet!" Pegasus just laughed implementing they could of, but when infact they where. "Nah, they couldn't do that. Not with little children going to bed hungry every night. Isn't that right folks." Pegasus just shrugged and said, "Whatever."

That was when Ranma went in for the final blow, by saying, "Mr. Maximillion Pegasus, and his partners would like you and the millions of people watching at home, to know, that they plan to match what you raise tonight, DOLLAR FOR DOLLAR!" "AAAH", went Pegasus. Some of his comrades gasped as well. Of course Pegasus just smiled and laughed to hide his fear. "You heard the man it's a matching fund. So let's hit the phones out there, and crank it up, CAUSE WE'RE GONNA FEED THE WHOL WORLD TONIGHT!" With that Smash Mouth started playing their smash hit (no pun intended) "All Star." (AN: I don't own that either, so don' t sue!)

_Somebody once told me_

_The world was going to roll me_

_I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed._

As he was started singing the numbers on the tote board started going up and up. Pegasus noticed this and he gasped. Some of his members also gasped too.

_And she was looking kinda dumb_

_With a finger and a thumb _

_In the shap of an 'L' on her forhead_

Pegasus was starting to cry. Illpalazzo, thinking it wasn't any of his problem, just walked past him. "Ilpallazzo, aren't you worried about this", asked Pegasus. "No, for ACROSS does not use money. Besides, I didn't put any wagers on this race once 'o' ever." "Ack", said Pegasus.

_Well, the years start coming_

_And they don't stop coming_

_Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running_

The 'racers' started dancing to the tune. Even Excel was adding in her, um, hyperactive style.

_Didn't make sense not to live for fun_

_Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb_

_So much to do_

_So much to see_

_So what's wrong in taking the backstreet_

"Nooo", shouted Pegasus who was still staring at the tote meter, who was still going up. "MY MONEY", he whined. Nelson perched backstage gave a 'haw haw', to him. Most of the racers laughed at Pegasus situation.

_You'll never know if you don't go_

_You'll never shine if you don't glow_

_HEY NOW! You're and All Star!_

_Get your game on, go play_

_HEY NOW! You're a Rock Star!  
Get you're show on, get paid!  
All that glitters is gold!  
Only shooting staars break the mo-old!_

The racers were really getting into it, heck they were really enjoying it. They in fact sang along with the chorus part.

_It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder_

_Your bundled up now wait till you get older_

_But the Meteor Men beg to differ_

_Judging by the hole in the satellite picture_

Bart and Lisa were really getting their groove on, by dancing backstage. Seraphim and Boo were up above the crowds. While Boo was just being a dancing fool, Searaphim was just tapping her toe and smoking a cigarette.

_The ice we skate, is getting pretty thin_

_The water's getting warm so you might as well swim_

_The worlds on fire_

_How 'bout yours!  
That's the way I like and I'll never get bored!_

Homer then dashed somewhere and came back and grabbed something. Illpalazzo noted, "Hey isn't that my guitar?" Excel also noted that, "Isn't that Lord Illpallazzo's guitar?"

_HEY NOW! You're and All Star!_

_Get your game on, go play_

_HEY NOW! You're a Rock Star!  
Get you're show on, get paid!  
All that glitters is gold!  
Only shooting staars break the mo-old!_

Homer then started playing a bit in this solo part. But then Ilpallazzo took it saying it was his. Homer gave it up quicky and shouting "VISUAL" he started playing it but a bit off-key. (This was were Randy played that harmonica, but I thought I'd make this part a little more interesting!)

_HEY NOW! You're and All Star!_

_Get your game on, go play_

_HEY NOW! You're a Rock Star!  
Get you're show on, get paid!  
All that glitters is gold!  
Only shooting staars. . ._

When the chorus part came up at that point, Misaki, ran towards the crowd and they caught her and started crowd surfing (AN: Kid's don't do this. From what I hear it's very dangourous!). Largo then followed suit.

_Some body once asked_

_If I could spare change for gas_

_I need to get myself away from this place_

Piro then ran towards the crowd and jumped as well. Naru then went and crowd surfed as well, followed shortly by Ranma.

_I said, Yep_

_What a concept_

_I could use a little fuel myself_

_And we could all use a little chaaaange_

Skuld then decided to join in too. So she jumped in the crowd as well. "LOVE AND PEACE", yelled Vash as he jumped into the crowd too.

_Well, the years start coming_

_And they don't stop coming_

_Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running_

Excel went forth and went "HAIL ILPALLAZZO", as she jumped into the crowd. "All right", yelled Lisa as she jumped into the crowd too. Maggie jumped in as well. Bart then followed suit, yelling "Yeah man!" "WOOHOO", yelled Homer, of course the crowd had a little trouble at first holding him up. "AAAAH", yelled Marge when she jumped in.

_Didn't make sense not to live for fun_

_Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb_

_So much to do_

_So much to see_

_So what's wrong in taking the backstreet_

The last to jump in was non other than Belldandy who did it saying, "This looks like fun!"

_HEY NOW! You're and All Star!_

_Get your game on, go play_

_HEY NOW! You're a Rock Star!  
Get you're show on, get paid!  
All that glitters is gold!  
Only shooting staars break the mo-old!_

The entire group was whooping and cheering, all Belldandy was doing was relaxing and clapping.

_All that glitters is gold!  
Only shooting staars break the mo-old!_

The entire group was centered in the audience as the song ended and the lead singer yelled, "THANK YOU EVERYONE GOOD NIGHT!"


	15. Epilouge

Rat Race . . . Anime Style

Final Chapter: Epilouge

After the entire "Feed the Earth" thing, the racers left the stadium. "Wow, what a day", said Ranma. "Well, at least we learned that money isn't everything", said Vash. "We also learned not to trust rich millionaires who suddenly do a race like this", said Ranma. "Still, it would have been nice to get some cash though", said Excel. "Well who needs two million", said Vash, I could gain more just by turning myself in!" "Why", asked Belldandy. "Because I am worth a lot more than that." "Really", said a curious Excel, "How much?" "Why about $ 60 billion." Everyones eyes widened. They realized, why go to that much trouble to get $ 2 million when they could have just easily turned one of the racers for something worth more than that. "Well", said Largo, "60 billion eh?" "Yes", said Vash, "Why do you . . ." Then he realized what they all, except Bell, where about to do. "LOOK OUT! RUN!" he yelled and then ran off. The group did get tricked for a sec and then Excel yelled, "AFTER THAT TRENCHCOATED BLONDE GUY!" Vash went running like the dickens and said, "WHY ME?"

The End

Well that's it, I did it. I finally finished this story. I would like to thank SP Action Extreme 2 Noid, for his support and Charles Xavier for inspiring the cast list. I also than X-Over for his dedicated reviewing and I am glad you enjoyed this. I also thank the tons of other authors and readers out there that supported this fic. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Until we meet again, "See you in the Future!"


End file.
